𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 • 𝐎𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐙

𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞

𝕵𝖔

𝕺𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖗 𝖍𝖆𝖉 𝖑𝖊𝖋𝖙 he said he had to take care of something, so it was just Cesar and I in the house but Cesar hasn't left his room since we got home from the football game. He didn't even eat dinner with me— so yeah I ate dinner by myself.

I used the time to think about the game—not the actual game— I wasn't paying attention to it and honestly between Cesar, Ruby and Monse's argument and seeing Justin my mind is kinda busy. I walked to Cesar's room and gently knocked on the door

"Come in"

I opened the door and walked in before closing the door behind me "you okay?" I asked as sat next to him on his bed "Yeah" he sighed. "You sure? That argument at the game was kinda heated" I say

"We apologized to each other—so we're all cool" he says

"So why do you still bummed out?" I asked

"It's Monse she— nevermind" he says as he looks down at the string he played with his hands

"Cesar if you like her, why don't you just tell her?" I asked

"I did—Wait! How did you know?" He asked

"Monse told me a long time ago" I say

"What?" He asked

"Well I mean kinda guessed it, you two have a lot of tension between each other" I say

"Huh?—doesn't matter, Monse doesn't want anything with me or at least that's what she says" Cesar says

"Tell her how you feel" I say

"I tried, but she thinks if we get together it will ruin our whole friend group—I mean she does have a point you saw how crazy everyone got when they found out about that kiss" he says

"So what are you gonna do?" I asked

"I don't know but I'll figure it out" he says

"Now what about you?" He asked looking at me

"What about me?" I asked

"Come on—I'm not the only one sitting here with a bum look on their face" he says making me smile "Come on, tell me" he says

"Okay fine—but you cannot tell Oscar" I say

He nods as I sighed "I saw prophets at the game today" I say

Cesar's eye widened "what?!" He asked

"Seriously?" He asked

I nodded "I'm done yet, I saw my ex-boyfriend with them" I say

"Your ex-boyfriend? Wait? He's a prophet?" He asked

"I don't know, I haven't seen him since I ran away" I say

"Wait, is that how you became homeless? Because you ran away?" He asked, his question took my off guard and it brought memories I closed off a long time ago. "Yeah" I nodded

"Why did you runaway?" He asked

"It's getting late, Cesar you should get some rest" I say standing up and walking towards his door "good night, jo" he says "goodnight Cesar" I say leaving out his room and closing the door behind me and I locked myself into the bathroom, it's a bit dramatic but I haven't thought about Justin— Okay that's a lie I think about him all the time but I never purposely thought about him in a while. And now talking about him took a toll on me.

I splashed water on my face to hide the tears that were showing, before I unlock myself from the bathroom, I walked out to see Oscar walking into his room—which made me think more about today. I was literally on the verge of a panic attack from seeing Justin then I bumped into Oscar and I felt okay again—I can't believe I'm saying this but Oscar makes me feel safe I don't know exactly what it is but he helps me feel relax- and he does this without even trying!

I know I like being around him and he is attractive but I don't know if I'm attracted to him—every since the first time he kissed me, I have this weird feeling when I'm alone with him, it's like I get nervous to talk to him—which isn't anything big I've been homeless since I was 18– I'm not exactly good at socializing after being alone for so long. God I haven't thought about boys since Justin.

Do I have a crush on him or am I just grateful towards him, he did open his home up to me and let me sleep in his bed—Oh my god why are feelings are so complicated?

"Jo?"

I look over at Oscar "Yeah?" I asked

"You okay? You've standing there for 10 minutes" he says as I leaned against the door frame "Yeah, I'm fine" I say giving him a smile "Okay" he smiled back as he grabs a pillow and a blanket, he started to walk out the room but I stopped him by grabbing his arm and pulling him back into the room.

He had a concerned look on his face but I turned around and closed the door before walking back to him, I got on my tippy-toes as I cupped his face to kiss him. He dropped the pillow and blanket as he placed his hands on my hips as he kissed me back, we pulled away and I started to blush immediately "I thought you said you weren't straight forward?" He asked

"I got inpatient" I say as I reconnected our kiss as he walked me to the bed

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a/n: it's four in the morning... gn or good morning... idk

✌🏾