Boys

Monday

Hi there, I'm Leanne and I'm fourteen and I have two twin big-brothers who are both 16. Most weekends, me and my brothers stay over with my cousins, Mom says it's for 'bonding time' but it's really just an excuse to get rid of us.

I bet you're sat there thinking, "What do I look like?" Well, I have short ('like-a-boys' they all say) auburn hair which looks really scruffy but I don't particularly care as I'm not one of the 'cool girls'. I usually wear warm, comfy and thick joggers with a silky-loose t-shirt with cool trainers that are hand-me-downs from my brothers.

Now, back to my cousins. Yesterday, when we were at theirs, they tried showing us PORN. Like PORN for shit's sake. Luckily I am a sensible and mature person so I told them no which really disappointed my brothers. We have two cousins, who are twins like my brothers, but are girls. Their fifteen and they've had sex AT LEAST sixteen times and they're lucky they haven't got pregnant.....YET. Not together, obviously, with the strange things called boys. Anyways, they're the 'cool kids' and they swear a lot (just like us) but unlike us, they're parents buy them porn, cigarettes, condoms and let them have sex in their bed -gross, I know. I think it's because their mom used to actually be a porn-star.

On to my parents. My mom is always trying to get us outside and do something 'creative' but then my brothers say 'Minecraft IS creative' and that sets mom off completely on how 'back in my day, there were no computers or phones or iPads, we actually used to SOCIALIZE, like TALK to each other face-to-face or send letters...' bla bla bla, the list goes on. Now, Dad. Dad, oh Dad, oh Dad. God this is gonna take FOREVER so let me give you a short list of my Dad:

Number 1- He always goes with what Mom says, even if he doesn't agree (I know, my mom is SOOOOO controlling)

Number 2- He complains about Johnny and Liam (sorry, I forgot to tell you, those are my brothers' names) being on their screens too long however HE'S ALWAYS on his phone 'checking work emails.....', yeah right.

Oh, thanks for reminding me, I sooo forgot to tell you about my parents' jobs. So, my mom owns a bar on the outskirts of town called 'Pauline's Pork Pie Pub' and, as you may have guessed, it sells pork pies. Oh yeah, my mom's called Pauline, you probably worked that out already but  I said it for the people with no common sense who did not acknowledge that.

That leaves me with my Dad's job. He usually 'works from home' or has 'a very bad disease' or an 'important medical issue' but the times when he isn't doing that, he is either travelling with his workmates or in a stuffy office reading lots of paper sheets on the computer. Sorry, I guess I just really don't know what he does; some sort of...Never mind.....I ain't got no clue what he does at work. But wanna know what I do know about him? He's always got his drunk workmates around on a Saturday night playing in their 'band'. When I say 'band', that means 'banging saucepans together singing crap like 'Britany Spears' or the 'Spice Girls' and that load of rubbish. I mean, the songs they listen to, like the '90's club classics'. That's not just day, I warn you, it's mum as well. At least I listen to good stuff.

Catch y'all tomorrow. 

Leanne xxx