Little love

There was total silence.Silence so deafening that he could no longer stand it. He ran out of his home bursting in tears on the way down.He could not hear anything though the world around him was spinning,more fast in his head.He did not like to be in that place any longer.He hated that he had to live there anymore.He was reminded of her.Her thought brought anger and misery to his mind.He felt rage building up inside of him like the clouds would during a thunderstorm.His head started to ache and he felt intense pain in his chest. He felt his stomach grinding like those giant machines that gobble sand and spit cement.His heart throbbed against his flesh as if it wanted to come out and slap him tight for the fool he thought he was. He choked.His mouth went dry.His eyes no longer wished to see anything anymore so they started to cloud themselves and it was all misty everywhere. His legs followed suit and they lost their will to balance him and so went on their own accord. Although his entire body was plotting against him,he continued to have thoughts about her. He could not forget her and her smile.He could not forget their moments together. He could not forget the times they stood for each other.But neither would she. Their love for each other would show in their eyes.But did his body give more time to think about her? They seemed to have a mind of their own and tried to stop him from thinking of her.They shut him down from the inside and he could do nothing against them and so he fell,he fell hard on the floor.The sand floor on the beach..Everything went blank.

A few hours later,he slightly opened his eyes to find it was still evening. He could see the waves of the sea take a crest and a trough. He could hear the waves moving around, seagulls flying around,some people digging in the sand, the sea shells brought to the shore by the sea,gurgling waves crashing off the rocks and young boys and girls moving into the sea. He could find people more than when he arrived.It must be late in the evening.He saw people dressed in short dresses and a babel and shouts of celebration of men at a distance.Maybe they were having a party. He could see they were having a young maiden amidst them and her face was so delightful.She cheered as they raised their glass bottles and made a toast.She too had a bottle in her hand but she hesitated to drink.Nevertheless she was not booed.Everyone in the group seemed to be fine and happy for her. Maybe they were her friends or were her brothers or friends of her boyfriend.Who knows? Who cares? He saw them drink and felt thirsty.He felt his mouth go dry.He licked his lips moist. He felt his face chill.He realized  his face was on the sand and that he was laying flat on the beach. He remembered feeling dizzy and that must have put him down he thought. He felt ashamed of lying down half-naked on the beach. He had been drunk many times before but then too he would somehow manage to find his house or at least find an inn for the night.He never fell on the road or made a racket when drunk. He felt weak. He seemed to not have control of his body. But what could he do? Anyone would be weakened by such grief.

The fear of being alone.The grief of her death. Staring at the setting sun,sinking below the horizon with one side of his face on the sand, feeling its smoothness ,his body lay flat on the ground. He felt an anarchy with the sun.His life too would be dark like the world would be after the sun sunk down.She was the sun in his life.

People started shifting on the beach,as families came and went. The guys with the beers were leaving. Everyone seemed tired and wanted to leave. Having eaten the cake and a drink of beer filled their stomachs and they were more than ready to fall asleep on the sand. But social morals made them pick themselves up to go.He watched as they left with their weary eyes and messed up hair. The woman however still looked cheery and joyful though she was equally messed up.He saw her more clearly now and saw she was pale skinned and dark haired,her eyes so narrow and sharp like a razor blade and her skin so rough that one would assume that she was a spoiled brat that got into fights very often.She had a crooked nose that was thin as a shark's fin. Her gray eyes filled with joy, her reddish brown hair dancing in the air sharing her delight. High cheekbones and her full lips showcased a smile so lovely that it told of a beauty that she was.He kept looking at her and she seemed to notice too as she looked at him.He was mildly surprised and smiled at her. She glanced for a minute and responded with a smile as she gleefully floated away with her friends. Slowly turning his gaze.he saw the waves gliding on the shores. He was reminded of his loneliness. No one to buy him a beer,no one to pat and comfort and no one to wave goodbyes to. He tried to think about his life before. He seemed to find no one in his life that he had opened his heart to. It struck him that he had lived his whole life alone.