Eating Disorder. [NH AU] III

» 05.

i was dreading this. i could just imagine what would happen if we get caught. he'd give me a public torturous execution, no doubt about that. especially after praising me so much when we first met.

i wanted to see evelyn though, don't get me wrong. i would do anything to see that beautiful face that i seem to think about all the time, it's a distraction for me.

but it's not like i'm here to learn.

i sneaked out the dormitory and made it all the way out and over the school gates with my hood over my head so the security camera wouldn't be able to catch me snooping around.

it was so very risky and my palms were beginning to start sweating.

"what do you think you're doing?!" a voice hissed from behind me as i waited for evelyn at our planned place of meeting. she wasn't there though.

she was five minutes late.

i jumped as the person approached me, seconds away from punching the stranger but then i would be punching an angel.

"gosh you scared me." i groaned, clutching my heart area for dramatic effect and evelyn just giggles and links our arms together. she leads the way and j just follow, she can take me wherever as long as i'm with her, i'm happy.

but i do brace myself for the worst.

+++

"so what's the plan?" i question her after a good five minutes of walking down the road past our boarding schools. i don't understand how she's so comfortable of sneaking out of her school, to a school she is forbidden from to hang out with guys. it's insane. i'm terrified.

"i dunno really. what do you fancy?" she looks up at me curiously and i grin back down at her in his cheesy way.

"you." she simply rolls her eyes and loosely punches my left arm but i can see the slight hint of red in her cheeks because of my comment.

"i'm serious, what food do you want?" i shrug now, my happy playful mood was dissolving as soon as she mentioned the devil creation. i didn't help that the last time i ate was when i forced myself to eat all those pancakes this morning. my stomach was growling repeatedly, and she noticed, unfortunately.

"nothing. i'm fine-" she was about to protest but i think of another comeback, "if i snack it will mess up my training." but i forgot about telling her the truth previously.

"too bad you don't care about this school, right? and besides we're here for you to prove to me that you care don't care. therefore, you should eat loads, put on weight so you won't be able to compete with anyone. then you can be free and leave." i almost ran a mile then.

to put on weight wasn't something i ever wanted to do; to put on more weight then i already have is crazy. is it even possible?

"if i leave, i would probably not even stay in london. i would go back to ireland with my family or to new york again." i tell her, and her mouth opens and then shuts tightly in a firm line.

"oh. why?"

"because, we don't have any business being in england. it's not where our home is. as lovely as it is, all polluted and with horrible weather, my parents are only here so i could 'pursue my dream' of going to this school." i use quotations marks for extra effect. her facial expression falls.

"what happens to us then?" she asks me in a sad, small tone. i actually haven't even thought about that. we haven't even known each other for very long but i know i don't want to leave her behind. she's the first girl that's actually attracted me this way.

it must be a miracle because my older brother was set on my being gay.

"i have no idea, we should just enjoy each other's company while it lasts." i take her hand and smile looking down at her. i could feel my energy levels draining each second we were standing in the freezing cold. i should be under my warm duvets all wrapped up tightly, sleeping.

"okay, deal." she smiles at me after thinking over about our lives.

she then continues to lead the way.

++

she takes me to a small cafe that took another ten minute walk to reach. it was so cute and not at all crowded, it seemed a nice place to relax. evelyn knew the owners as well, showing that she was a regular.

"the usual please." eve tells the waitress and then the ginger haired green eyed young woman looks at me to take my order and i panic. evelyn was looking at me too, to see if i would pass this test.

"um, the cheesecake and a coffee with three sugars please." the coffee would keep my energy up so i would last this night with eve, also it would give me the strength to puke up the cheesecake quickly. "so what's the usual?" i ask evelyn.

she grins at me from ear to ear, her brown eyes dancing with excitement, "well basically, it's hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped creme on the top with warm chocolate chip cookies and ice cream on the side. it's absolute heaven. i have it like every other week, once. a treat."

all i really heard was calories, calories, calories.

+

i grimaced as the cheesecake came in two slices, one was free that was supposed to make me seem so happy that they have to be absolute knobs and make me eat not one disgusting slice of heaven, but also another sickly piece too.

i hate how the weight always goes to my hips and not my dick?

if only it was the other way, maybe ladies would find me much more appealing?

evelyn delilah watched me ever so carefully, observing my every move. i felt a hell lot of pressure on my shoulders. i felt ever so sick.

almost like i was going to pass out.

but i plucked up the courage to break off a small slice off the tip of the cake and prayed that everything would be okay before placing in into my mouth. my taste buds went insane, they loved it no matter how hard i tried to deny how good it was. also, my stomach let out a loud grumble to announce that this shit was brilliant and i need to waffle it all down, plus more.

i managed to do it though, eventually.

rushing to the toilets straight after, claiming that my bladder was going to burst due to the amount of coffee i had drank. eve laughed but allowed me to be excused, even if she didn't allow me, i still would've gone.

a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

i bent over on the floor over one of the peeing stations in the men's toilets, making sure that nobody was in the cubicles behind me. i stuck my middle finger and index finger into my mouth, to the very back of my throat and swirled it around until i felt the familiar amazing feeling of churning occurring in my stomach.

it felt so good to allow all the shit out of me that i rested my bum down on the floor so i was quite comfortable whilst puking.

minutes went by and suddenly someone burst into the toilets in a rushed manner, just as i was finishing off.

"i heard puking on the phone, what-" evelyn paused and slapped her hands over her mouth at the sight of me. i didn't even make an effort to move or cover up anything, i was shattered.

"-the hell is going on?"

[what are your views on niall? do you like his character's personality or nah?]