abnormally normal

chap one

"dude, this wedgie is so far up my ass I can taste it." I wiggle slightly, trying to ease my underwear out of my ass.

"just pick it." grace replies flatly. "here I'll cover you." she stopped walking and stepped behind me. I reached up and dug it out, feeling relieved once is stopped suffocating my butt cheeks.

I heard three loud honks and looked to my right to see four men in a huge pick up truck laughing hysterically.
I stuck my middle finger in the air and yelled manically, "fuck you! my asshole couldn't breathe!"

grace gave out a snort from beside me and I put my finger down, seeing the truck far down the street.

I blew my bangs out of my face and sighed. "can you explain to me why we are walking again?" I looked at the ground, then at the sky. the sun was blazing hot, it being April in Alabama.

"because, my mom took away my car for coming home past curfew, and yours is in the repair shop." grace tucked her loose bangs behind her ear and adjusted the sunglasses one her face.

I let out a huff of annoyance. "and how is it my fault you got your car taken away? why must I suffer this unbearable heat, with someone I don't even like. and I'm pretty sure I'm getting pitt stains." I lifted my arm to look down at my armpit. "yup, look at that. I'm sweating like Santa on Christmas Eve."

"please stop talking." grace monotonously said. I waved her off, looking at all the houses we were passing. we were only about a block away from our houses.

I looked back at grace again. her medium length blonde hair was put into a fishtail, and her gorgeous hazel eyes were covered by her Ray bans that covered up half her face. she was cute and tiny, opposite from her personality. she was blunt and a bit rude, but she means well.

"why are you looking at me?" grace asked, leaning back a bit.

"'cuz you're so cool." I turned forward again, and she gave me a slight shove one the shoulder. we reached my house, and stopped.

"bye gracie, I lo-ove you!" I said in a singsong voice.

a grin set on graces face. "bye ve, I looove you more!"

I turned around to walk up my front stairs. "text my bitch!" were my parting words, before closing the door behind me.

"watch your language, venus. you know I don't like cussing coming out of your pretty little mouth." my mother scolded me.

I tugged my shoes off, leaving them by the door. I trotted up to my mom, kissing her in the cheek. "sorry, mama."

I walked to the fridge and saw my v-8 juice. I took it out and poured myself a glass.

"how was school, sweetpea?" my mother asked, wiping off the kitchen table.

i jumped onto the counter and leaned against the fridge. I thought for a minute. how was school?

well, I got kicked out of calculus, sent to the principle in geography, and got a referral in theatre.

"it was good." I replied, taking a sip of my drink and avoiding eye contact with her. she came up and slapped my thigh lightly, a signal telling me to get my ass of the counter. I sheepishly slid down and set my cup in the sink.

"alright well I've got homework to do. call me up when dinners done?" I asked, slowly walking towards the down stairs.

"alright." my mother answered, brushing me off as she brought out the broom.

"good talk." I muttered, proceeding to stop down the stairs.

I entered my bedroom and looked around at the mess. my room was huge, and by far my favorite place in the house. I begged and begged my mother to let me turn the basement into my room. I fixed it up and decorated it myself. it's pretty cool.

"mtv, welcome to my crib!" I hollered dramatically and leaped over everything scattered around my floor. while I tried jumping on my bed, I tripped over a laundry basket, causing me to slam my knee into the bed frame.

"fuck!" I screamed, grabbing my knee in pain. I hissed for a couple seconds, then pulled myself onto my bed. I crawled on it until I reached my pillow, then flopped down face first.

after a couple seconds I couldn't breathe anymore so i lifted myself up, hair in my mouth and covering my vision slightly. I pushed it out of my face and turned my head, facing the huge paintings that were on my wall. they were done by me, using different styles of painting and designs, that went all the way around my room.

"okay. get up venus, you need to shower." I pushed myself up and slid off my bed, walking into my bathroom. I turned my music on shuffle and plugged it into my speaker. I shut the door and looked in the mirror.

I cringed slightly. "why did no one tell me I looked like this. those backstabbing hoes."

my massively curly hair was everywhere, looking untamable, and my makeup was slightly smudged down my eyes. I had a few zits that really needed to be popped, and I could sleep in the bags under my eyes they were so big.

I picked up my brush, lightly humming to ed sheerans beautiful voice. my playlist mainly consumed him, one direction, some taylor swift, and random assortments of songs that got overplayed way too much and everyone is sick of. cough- call me maybe -cough.

after nearly yanking my scalp off trying to detangle it, I strip and get in the shower.

I wash my hair and body, doing my routine of looking down at my body, grabbing my stomach, saying "ew", and looking back up.

if you couldn't tell I love myself.

I get out of the shower, right when 'don't' -another ed sheeran song- came on, I let out a victory "whoop", and grabbed the beat pill and carried it into my room, holding the towel with one hand, desperately trying to keep it covering me. in the end my entire ass was showing and it was barely covering my boobs. I throw the speaker and phone on my bed and look up. I let out another scream and feverishly tried to pull the towel back around my body as fast as possible.

"what the hell are you doing in here?!" I shouted at nate, gripping the towel with all I had.

"your mom told me to come down, that you were down here doing homework." Nate said, raising and eyebrow. "guess that's not the case.." he trailed off, looking around my room and smiled slightly. "nice room."

I stood up straighter. "I-uh haven't gone around to cleaning it yet." I stools there awkwardly, still holding the towel.

Nate saw something and snickered. he picked up my kit kat bra. "can I have this?" he asked, putting it on his head and grinned at me.

I groaned in embarrassment and walked over, yanking it off his head.
"no." I threw it to the side and gave him a look. "can you please get out of my room now?"

nate was mine and graces next door neighbor, his house being the barrier between ours. hes one of our really good friends, one of our really good looking friends might i add, with his blonde floppy hair and light blue eyes. a real lady killer.

nate held is hands up in surrender "okay, okay, I'm going." he started to walk towards the stairs and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

he turned back around too look at me. "and venus?"

"yeah?"

"youve got a nice ass."

he winked at me and climbed the stairs, while my cheeks flamed red.

"thanks!" I shouted up at him, shaking my head slightly amused by the whole thing. it was just my luck he saw me naked.

at least he was a cute perv.

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hi this is a book where I'm just trying to be funny in but failing w.e.
uh Venus is at the top\side but like less perf and curlier hair.

and sorry for mistakes I'm on my phone

I hope u liked it and I hope u laughed

I'll update once a week

thanks byeeee
xxx