This story is about my struggle through mental health. This is designed the help people, there is always someone to talk to, you are never truly alone.
As Mental Health Awareness Week approaches, I've decided to post my story. I don't usually do or say anything regarding the matter as I've always been too ashamed of what I have and what I've been through.
However, as this year is a big milestone for me, I think it's only time that I share my story with everyone, not to gain sympathy or to justify any actions I've taken or may take in the future but to help people. My hope is that someone may read this and not feel so alone.
For privacy reasons, I'm changing the names of the people mentioned below. It's not because I'm afraid to call them out, it's because I am the bigger person and people do change. The people mentioned may have changed and may have become better people, I fully believe that people can change so for that reason, their names will remain private. The privacy of the people below is important to me and I'm sure it's important to them. This post is not intended to cause trouble or offence but if you remember or think you are one of the people below, please message me and we can talk about it.
My name is Emily, I was born on the 3rd August 1999, making me 20, turning 21 in the summer. I was always a very confident child, I could stand up in a group of people and sing, dance or act without a second thought. I was always so dramatic and bubbly, not a care in the world. Then my world came crumbling down. I started being bullied in primary school.
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This little girl wouldn't stop tormenting me, calling me names and just generally picking on me. To escape from it I'd come home and be myself but keep that extravagant personality to myself when I was at school. This bully (Jane) once made a deal with me, if I joined her and bullied another girl (Sam), she would leave me alone. I'm not proud of it but I accepted the deal and started picking on this Sam who'd never done anything to hurt me.
It wasn't long before my mum got a call from Sam's mum as they were friends. My mum couldn't understand why I would pick on Sam as she'd only ever been nice to me. It wasn't until my mum dug a little deeper into my story about the bullying and picked up on the fact that I was now 'friends' with Jane, the bully who had been making my school life so hard to stomach. We went around to Sam's house and I apologised and explained the situation, she understood. The next day I told Jane that I wouldn't bully Sam anymore as it's wrong, Jane wasn't too happy and continued to bully me.
My only escape was at home or dancing twice a week, or so I thought. I'd been dancing a while with a troupe that no matter what happened, will always stay very close to my heart! After about 2-3 years, I reached the age where I could move up to a different aged section. This came with a new dance, a new trainer and a few new people. I couldn't have been happier to move up because it was once step closer to being one of the 'big girls' in the Juniors or Seniors.
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