Losing Love • Malec

Chapter 2

I like writing at night because that's when I'm most vulnerable to the feels and will write deeper, sweeter stuff.

There's like one cuss word in here and I never cuss but I had to do it for emphasis. I mean I did rate this PG-13. People. Anyway this is probably one of the few times I will use a word like that I hate people that cuss every sentence like no you can maybe use it sometimes but calm down. Anyway, just a warning enjoy

COMMENCE FEELS

"You do?" Magnus asked, his eyes soft. Alec looked up at him and he was drowned in another wave of love. It was overwhelming, obsessive, uncontrollable love.

"Why wouldn't I?" Alec whispered.

"I-I don't know." Magnus sighed and took his hands of Alec's back.

Alec removed his hands and looked at the ground. "I'll always be here." He said softly.

Magnus lifted his eyes up. "I believe you," He kissed Alec's forehead and ripples or excitement ran through both of them. Alec was about to tilt his head up to have their lips meet when Magnus pulled away.

"Magn-"

"We can't be late for our reservation," He smiled and Alec could no longer find the nervous Magnus that had been there minutes ago.

"Right," Alec blushed. Magnus chuckled and grabbed Alec's hand. Magnus pulled him down the steps and they walked down the street together, Magnus pointing out stuff like an excited kid.

Magnus talked and talked and talked. He talked about Chairman Meow, the mundane that had thought he was his dad come back from the dead, and other things. Alec tried to listen but he couldn't, there was no way he could concentrate.

He was thinking about a billion things at once. His nerves in his hand felt every movement Magnus' hand made. Alec could feel their hands together and he was going crazy. He felt like he needed Magnus to kiss him, now.

"Hey, are you listening?" Magnus asked.

"What? Uh-" Alec blushed again and they stopped walking. The streets weren't crowded and the few people that were there just walked around them.

"Alec," Magnus said. Alec's mind exploded. That was his name, his name. "You okay?"

"Oh-oh, yeah, sure," Alec let go of Magnus' hand and ran his hand through his hair.

"You can tell me anything, you know."

"I just couldn't concentrate," Alec sighed. That was partly the truth. Besides being very aware of Magnus he had been thinking about losing him again and his heart hand begun to ache. He knew he had Magnus' trust back, but wonder if he broke it again?

"That's it?"

"I-no," He looked at his feet. "No that wasn't it."

There was a long silence while Magnus waited for Alec to continue, but Alec didn't want to continue. They stood there very awkwardly for a very long time.

"Alec?"

"Sorry, I was just-I, never mind." Alec shook his head. He wasn't going to do this.

"Alexander, what is it?" Magnus persisted. His eyes were soft, and when Alec looked at them he could tell he was worried.

"I-uh, um..." Alec wanted to tell Magnus he was worried about losing him, and screwing it up again, and that he couldn't live without him, but he was worried that telling him that would screw up the relationship. Alec was a mess.

"I'm not going to leave you," Magnus said. Alec felt like a bunch of air had left him, he was more relaxed. How had Magnus guessed what Alec was thinking?

"That's what you were worried about, wasn't it?" Magnus had just made a guess but based on how relaxed Alec looked he thought maybe he had guessed right.

"Maybe," Alec mumbled. He was scared Magnus was going to judge him. Really scared.

"Alexander Lightwood, I am never going to leave you," Magnus didn't even hesitate to assure Alec. If Alec was worried then he should heal his worries.

"I...thank you," Alec smiled. "I've just-I've been just worried. I know we're fine now but I keep worrying I'll say something...or do something...and you'll just leave. I'm not sure what I'd do if you left...I can't imagine not not having you here. I think some part of me wouldn't be here. Some part of me will always be with you Magnus, and I don't think anyone could take that part away. No matter what you do or what you say, I will always love you.

"I'm scared as hell that I'm going to lose you. I'm so scared, and being scared scares me. I'm just one big mess without you. Even with you...I just feel like I'm always going to be worried. I try to tell myself you're here and it's okay, but the wordiness always comes back. I believe you, but it's hard Magnus. Knowing that I screwed up the relationship makes my angry at myself, and makes me worried that I'll do it again."

"Alec..." Magnus breathed. He reached out and hugged Alec. Alec could feel Magnus' heart beating, it was going fast. Alec realized he was doing that. He was making his heart be so fast.

"That was a beautiful speech," Magnus whispered into Alec's ear. "And Alec?"

"Mmm?"

"What I said about not leaving you, I meant that."

Alec felt like his heart my fall out of his chest. Not in that cheesy cliche way, but literally.

"I love you Alec."

"I love you too Magnus,"

Alec leaned to kiss Magnus but he leaned back. "What?" Alec asked.

"Any longer and we're going to be late," he smirked.

Alec mumbled something under his breath about he at least deserves a kiss, but Magnus just grabbed his hand and dragged him down the street both of them laughing.

END OF PART TWO