We are stronger together

- 25 - Progress

Taron and I were pretty deprived of sleep over the next few days. I had never been more emotional. We were too caught up to have visitors, we sent everyone photos and they were all glad we were fine.

We enjoyed our alone time for as long as it would last, and we were quite busy anyway. I couldn't even imagine what parents of twins had to go through. His mom all our calls whenever we had questions and we skyped quite often.

I felt incredibly emotional about everything. I had read it would happen, called "baby blues", but it still hit me with full force. I was sometimes crying from one moment to the next. Breast feeding didn't work as it should and the cramps while feeding were awful. I was still bleeding and I was pretty unhappy with my body even if Taron told me otherwise.

I felt like giving birth ruined my body and my sexuality.

I loved kissing Taron and it sent my body into overdrive whenever Lou gave us a chance to do that. I didn't even want to take things further though - we weren't allowed anyway - but at this point I wasn't sure I could ever have sex again. That was something I couldn't discuss with Taron. Because it was just too personal and he wouldn't understand.

We put Lou's cot in our room because I just couldn't have her that far away. Even if it was right next door. But she had been inside of me for so long and sometimes I was scared she was gone when I ran my hand over my belly.

But having her in the same room also came in handy when I had to feed her every few hours. Taron was the best, often enough he got up instead of me and lay our daughter down next to me so I could feed her that way without getting up. I couldn't even remember how often Taron had seen my bare breasts, but he didn't seem to mind or even pay close attention to it. It had me wondering if my sex appeal had flown out the window.

I felt like a cow after my milk came in, and my breasts were about to burst.

"Just imagine what your body was capable of" he whispered when we lay in bed at night, our daughter laying between us.

I felt like my life was complete with them by my side.

"Yeah but look at my body now" I said sadly.

"You are beautiful" he whispered back.

I smiled lightly. I was happy he liked how I looked but he just couldn't understand.

"She will be beautiful" I whispered as I ran a hand over her belly "Just like you"

Taron chuckled "You are beautiful" he repeated.

I was glad Taron was off work for two weeks, so he could help me. He wanted to be off work longer, but his shooting schedule didn't allow it and I encouraged him. It would only be a few weeks until he would wrap up shooting anyway.

I saw him off the day he had to go back to work, with our daughter in my arms. I could see him struggling to leave us.

"We will still be here when you come back" I smiled, looking down at Lou in my arms.

He smiled half-heartedly before he gave me a quick kiss on the lips and kissed our girl on the head.

"See you later"

Taron

I felt like a hole had been ripped into my life as I got to work. I was missing them so much. We had spent the last two weeks together 24/7 and even though it was physically and emotionally draining, it had been the best time of my life.

I could barely focus on work. Hell, I barely remembered my name. All I could think about was my family.

Once we had a short break, I decided to text instead of phone Milly, in case they were both sleeping. She didn't reply so I decided to call Richard.