Eternity [Poets Of The Fall] Français/English

[EN] 4 - Night (Moments Before The Storm)

The three men soon left the club. Jaska hadn't said a single word since the others had joined him, not daring to glance at them. He only wanted to leave, but the idea of having to sleep near the singer had conviced him to stay, not out of joy, but out of the hope that dawn would come quickly and that he wouldn't have to stay with him.

Everything was terribly confused in his mind. He felt helpless and powerless in front of the two musicians. It was unfortunate that the singer had made him understand that nothing was reciprocal no matter what feelings he had. He was angry with Marko for showing him this so violently. He blamed himself for being too stupid to insinuate this to him and twice for having answered Sanni without even realizing it. He hadn't tried to hold back the tears that had come to his eyes while the other two were still dancing. And yet he hadn't understood why this event, a simple kiss from the singer to the bass player, hurt him so much.

It had been more and more difficult for him to admit that Marko saw other men and women for several months, but this was too much tonight. He was unable to say what he felt for the singer, but over time his possessiveness became even more pressing. And he had no intention of blaming the singer, however. They weren't accountable, they weren't together, and most of all, he wanted Marko to thrive and enjoy what life had to offer him the way he wanted it. Finally, the guitarist was exhausted. First, his former girlfriend was slowly driving him crazy. She kept harassing him, making him feel guilty, lying to him, trying to force him to come back to her side. On the other hand, he was tired from so much work for several weeks, without having had enough rest since the album was released. Finally, it was his doubts, his questions, his jealousy and Marko himself that took most of his energy. Now, he saw the images of the singer over and over again, putting his lips against those of Jani, tenderly, almost lovingly. He could see the icy look the blond had sent him just before kissing the bass player, who seemed over the moon. Jaska already knew that he would not sleep this night. He wouldn't be able to. If he managed to hold back the cry of rage he was dying to utter, it would already be a feat.

When he heard Jani's laugh not far from him, he suddenly looked up and wiped his tears, to appear impassive again. When the bassist asked him if everything was okay, he pretended to be tired, and Jani had watched the other two at length, one after the other, trying to probe them to understand why they both seemed so tense. However, he hadn't commented on it.

Jani had noticed that his friends were hiding something, but he couldn't understand the root of the problem. Jaska was hiding in silence, his eyes watching nothing. Marko, meanwhile, no longer looked at the guitarist, and even tried to move away from him, ignoring him as much as possible. The bass player was concerned about the situation, not knowing how he could or should react. And to be completely honest, his thoughts were still elsewhere. Marko had never kissed him like that in public, much less close to their friends, and even less close to Jaska. Maybe it was all related, he couldn't have said. But that kiss had done him good. Of course, he preferred not to have false ideas or hope in vain, but an idea kept flourishing in his mind. Him and Marko. Was it really possible ? He was aware that the singer wasn't looking for anything serious and, on the contrary, enjoyed flirting, meeting men and women, sharing special moments with them. He was already privileged, since he had had this special relationship with him for a long time now. And he didn't want to stop Marko from living as he wanted. But he was happy to imagine a possibility where he could call him his boyfriend.

Marko could no longer think very clearly or coherently. He had a great time dancing with Jani. The bass player had even managed to make him smile a little. It's true, he sincerely appreciated the moments they spent together. He sincerely appreciated Jani. But as soon as he saw Jaska sitting at this table, alone, his face buried in his hands, trembling, he had lost all desire to smile. The brown wasn't going well and he wasn't there for him. Did Sanni hurt him again ? Or maybe it was the singer himself who hurt him. He was perfectly aware that the guitarist had seen him kissing Jani. But since Jaska was so preoccupied and loving towards Sanni, there was no reason why Marko's actions should bother him. Unless their dance also had a meaning for the brown. The singer couldn't explain the attitude of the guitarist between the moment they had spent together, then this discussion and finally his reaction. Yet Jaska's way of hiding his emotions and ignoring him, silent, was self-explanatory. It wasn't Sanni who made him being this way. It was him, Marko. And precisely, this is what the singer couldn't understand. Why had Jaska shown him so little respect by talking about his romantic relationship with the young woman and by answering her if he was the one who troubled him ? Unless he is interested in Jani, but the singer doubted it because the looks of the guitarist weren't lying. Marko didn't know what to think anymore. He was still angry at the brown, but it was only a facade. In truth, he would simply have liked to understand.