when a smile drops [ BrightWin | SarawaTine ]

page #07

10:21 p.m

Bright and i went to the library. We were searching for greek mythology books for our reflection paper.

silence is the best thing i could find inside the library with the smell of old books and new pages. he was behind me tracing the books i have touched, making sure i did not pass by to any greek mythology related writings.

he held my shoulder stopping me from walking. as i turned around he hugged me. i was so shocked i almost fell on the ground. my knees were melting. my nose was filled with his flower-mint scent.

i closed my eyes and let my hands caress his back.

"Why?" i asked.

"I just want to hug you. Every time I see you, I keep wanting to touch you..." my heart was about to explode. i could feel his heart beating. our chests were pressed against each other and when he breathes, his breath kisses the skin on my nape sending shivers down my spine.

"I think I'm going insane..." he added.

i did not know what to respond and how to react with his sudden demeanor. but my heart was living to his warm embrace and i like his warmth.

i remained silent, still on his arm feeling safe and sound.

i like the peace he gave me and the home i found on him. i am starting to live a day looking forward for another moments with him. all my life i have been struggling to find reasons to not end me.

i was homeless, lost in the wilderness trying to fight the monsters i meet every single seconds i move.

Bright came when i was about to reach my conclusion; the climax of our lives, death.

i know this familiar feeling. the feeling i have long forgotten. the feeling when you want to live for him to see him smile everyday. i know this feeling because i have fallen in love before.

i am afraid though i like the comfort i feel whenever i'm with Bright. i am scared he would break me if i give him my bruised heart.

i held his shoulders and flashed a smile.

"The best people in the world are crazy." i said and continued to find for a book.

he smiled back at me and patted my head.

"Yeah, probably you are right."

after minutes of searching, we still didn't see anything. we went outside the library and straight to the tree. we rested under the shade, his head leaning on my shoulder as he trace the clouds on his slender fingers, drawing them in the air.

i giggled.

"It's funny we worked so hard for nothing." i said while laughing.

"Don't let your eyes see. Let your heart see."

it is saddening and kind of frustrating when we give our all for something like the efforts we do for the people we love and get nothing. i know it's greedy to expect on receiving the same love you poured for them and when you expect there are two things that could happen: first, they will do the same, reciprocating the efforts you did for love and second, getting nothing but a break on the heart.

and maybe Bright was right. we should not just let our eyes see but the heart because everything is real when it's your heart that sees.

like how my heart saw bright.

my heart beats for him.
my heart longs for his touch.
my heart screams his name every time i remind myself, do not fall in love again.

***
[please do follow me and leave comments~ also, i will try my best to update because i have an up-coming BrightWin FF that is different from this story. thank you na krap! 🐰💛]