Sunday, April 12
Freshman year of highschool.
Since I moved to a new junior high in the 7th grade things were always weird. In 6th grade I had terrible grades and focused too much on my social life. Then, when there was no social life to surround myself with it was strange cause I felt like I had nothing to offer. My grades were still shit since I lacked the motivation and I had nobody to even work for, and since then I've put most of my time and effort into meeting new people. Now that I've feel like I've surrounded myself with the right people it's weird.
I have a group of friends with most of them being "straight A" students. I get along with them and we end up having lovely experiences of together. But the problem isn't them it's me. I'm constantly comparing our grades and sort of dehumanizing myself cause of it. As I but it "since there will always be somebody at the end of the finish line I don't even try to participate in the race." It's not like I lack the motivation as I did in middle school, it's that in the back of my mind there's something that's telling me its not worth trying to do school work.
I don't know a way to push my brain over the edge and just do the work but until then I'll just be playing animal crossing.
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My Journal
Non-FictionHeyo, behind this stan like account is a lady named Isabelle. I'm making this just to dump my thoughts. Don't see it as a cry for help or seek for attention. it's just thoughts that I feel are okay being public.
