The Way It Was Before

Chapter One

I can never forget the feeling of being in love and I thought people are just being so cliché and cheesy when they describe it as something that makes your world go round, butterflies flying on your stomach and an air that cannot be seen but felt or a rosary that full of mysteries.

Somehow they were right but all I can remember feeling all
those is when he left me. My world goes round because I felt like he made my feelings a ball that he played with, butterflies flying in my stomach that made me feel sick and lose my appetite, an air that cannot be seen because he left me, he ghosted me after making me falling deeply and irrevocably in love with him and yes, he was a rosary that full of mysteries because it was all a mystery why he left me!

I ran my fingers to the spine of Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird the last book to be placed on the box. I had just finished unpacking all of my favorite classic novels that includes, The Alchemist, Pride and Prejudice, The Little Prince and The Great Gatsby. that I can use as a reference from my moving out, and they smelled the same way I remembered, old, new used, dry and real. They were physical, even if the stories inside of them weren't true. Is it how Jack Elton felt about us? Just physical attachment but not an emotional ones?

My eyes moved into the corner of my wooden shelf and saw a picture frame of Jack Elton and me taken during the Music Festival two years ago. I was torn in thinking if I am going to bring that picture frame as I move out to our house going on my dorm room in an hour. It was my last treasure of a happy-painful memory of him. Elton is the love of my life, my world, my butterfly in my stomach, the reason why I breath and my religion where I find solace in my heart.

Am I exaggerating? Maybe because he was my first love, the only guy that I dated since  10th grade.

But he left me for no reason. I have no any idea why the guy that I love and trust the most left me with no concrete reason at all.

"Hey, he wouldn't go out on that picture frame and apologize on why he left you.Believe me you wouldn't get an answer by just simply staring at that picture all day." Mia, my sister tells me jokingly while I was staring at the picture frame.

"Very funny but not funny enough to be a comedian" I shot her back then she grins at me after giving her a sharp  glare.

"Dad is waiting for you in the car, he doesn't want you to get caught on the traffic." She says while getting some of the boxes containing my hygiene stuffs.

I decided not to get the frame that will remind me of being left with no reason, besides tomorrow is a big day for me. I am entering a new chapter of my life------college, a dream that I worked hard for since I was in high school so I wanted to start off this new chapter of my life without a heart ache but with an open heart.

"New school, new life" I sighed heavily while my eyes closed, this is a promise to myself that I am gonna start this year without thinking of the heart-break caused by Elton almost one year ago and it starts by going down stairs because my dad will be very agitated when we caught by the traffic on our way to St. John University.

"What took you so long Hannah?" my dad asked as I opened the door of our car.

"I am just so nervous dad" I told

He looked at me with an encouraging smile as he brushed my hair on the side of my ears and said "It's going to be fine honey, I know you will do great besides your one of the best writers in town."

I am majoring in English Studies because of my love of literature although I did not get the position of being an editor in chief in my senior year in high school because Anna Murray was the daughter of the school paper adviser so instead of me Anna got the position I have dreamed of but it did not discourage me to pursue whatever my heart feels passionate to and after college I will succeed the printing press we co-shared.