Girlfriend: Sophomore year (REMASTERD)

14

XXXTentacion

"Fuck!" I mutter under my breath, the anger and frustration building inside me as I lose myself in the chaos. The weight of everything hitting me all at once. The girl on the bed, her voice a blur in my ears, but I can't focus. I just need to numb the pain. I grip her waist harder, trying to outrun the storm in my head. Her nails scratch down my back, but it's just another distraction, another thing I can't care about right now.

"Mnh, didn't I tell you to call me daddy?" I growl, my voice sharp, forcing her to submit, to feel something—anything—but the emptiness gnawing at me.

"Yes, daddy, I'm sorry," she whimpers, but it's like her words don't even register. I'm lost in my own head, disconnected from everything around me. I pull out and spin her onto her stomach, pushing myself back inside. Each thrust feels like it's tearing me apart, but I can't stop. The pleasure feels so distant, so hollow.

I slap her ass, trying to get control of something, anything, but all I can feel is the ache inside. "Faster, daddy," she moans, but it doesn't matter. Nothing really does anymore.

"I'm going as fast as I can. Don't tell me what to do," I bark, the frustration building like a wall around me. I feel the pressure building, everything's about to explode, and I just need to let go, just to feel something.

But as I finish, I can't stop the name from slipping out. "Kehlani."

A chill runs through me when I realize what I've just done. The girl sits up, throwing her clothes on in frustration, her anger matching mine. "Really, Jahseh? You scream someone else's name?"

I pull my shorts on without saying a word. "Listen, we're not together. Shut the fuck up and get out," I say, my voice colder than I intended. She glares at me, slamming the door behind her. I don't care. I can't care. She should've known better. I told her from the start.

I make my way down the hall to the studio, but something stops me as I pass Kehlani's room. Her door's slightly open, and I hear her moaning. My heart stops as I peek inside. Robyn's on her knees, her lips on Kehlani, and my stomach sinks.

It should be me. It should be me touching her, kissing her, making her moan. I can't shake the feeling, the jealousy tearing through me.

My body reacts before my mind can stop it. I start stroking myself, watching, knowing I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't stop. I watch Robyn's lips on Kehlani, the way her body moves, and all I can think about is how much I miss her. How much I need her.

But then I hear Michael's voice.

"JAH, WHAT THE FUCK?"

I freeze, my hand still on my dick, guilt rushing in as Robyn opens the door, her face full of disgust.

"Ayo, come on, bro, you nasty as fuck," she snaps, stepping into the hallway.

"I'm sorry, okay? My dick got hard," I mutter, not even sure why I'm defending myself.

"From what, bro? Didn't you just fuck Nicki?"

"Are you for real? Out of all the fucking thots, you fuck her?"

"Yeah, but when Robyn did it, it was fine, huh?"

"Because I wasn't with her when she did it," I bark back, the anger rising again.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, HOW ABOUT BOTH OF YOU LEAVE ME AND MY KIDS THE FUCK ALONE?!" I yell, the anger bubbling over. Kehlani walks out of her room, suitcase in hand.

"Baby, where you going?" I call out, panic creeping in.

"I'm not staying here with y'all anymore," she says, her voice shaking with frustration. "I'm carrying both of your sons, Jah, and you are stressing me out. The both of you need to figure your shit out before I leave, and then both of y'all will be missing me."

She walks past Robyn, past me, and heads toward the door, slamming it behind her. My heart sinks, panic gripping me as I stand there, frozen.

Robyn steps up to me, her eyes full of anger and something else. "Fuck you do that for, nigga?" she snaps, pushing me.

"You heard her," I say, my voice bitter. "She's going to leave both of us."

Robyn's face twists in disgust. "She doesn't want you anymore, Jah. Get that through your fucking skull." Her words hit harder than anything.

"You think you can talk to me like that?" I spit, stepping into her space.

"Yeah," she responds coldly, backing up for a moment before stepping back to face me. "That's a fucking promise, pussy boy."

I stare at her, the hatred and resentment boiling inside. I don't even know why I feel so angry, but everything inside me is screaming to lash out. "You need some fucking help, man," Michael says, shaking his head as he walks off. "You're losing it."

But I don't need help. Not from him, not from anyone. If they want to see XXXTentacion, then that's exactly what they're going to get.