Letter 2 U

Part 21 - The car

Jaebeom entered the room abruptly. Got7's manager was there sitting on a chair and typing fast on his phone while the American slept. The leader offered to stay with Mark while the manager went for a cup of coffee and the other just nodded, leaving the two band mates by themselves.

"Are you really sleeping?" Jaebeom spoke, very close to Mark's ear. He got no reaction from the sleeping beauty. He observed how his hyung's chest moved up and down with each breath he took. JB was thankful for that. He couldn't help but admire his tenacity. After going through so much in the last few months, he still had enough strength in him to survive such a bad fall. It was hard for Jaebum to imagine that the elder once or twice thought about taking his own life. There was a time in which his band mate was usually carefree, cheerful, playful and undoubtedly cute, but those traits were long gone now. Since letter2u, the Korean was introduced to the darkness pit lying behind the American's bright cinnamon eyes. He wished he knew how to help his hyung. He couldn't picture Got7 without a Mark Tuan. He couldn't imagine a life without one of the people who made his dream group become what they have become. As he pondered their destiny as friends and coworkers, he slowly allowed himself to let his guard down. Since there was no one looking, JB let all his emotions out. He felt a lump coming to his throat as his eyes watered. When he realized that his manager was going to take a while to come back and his hyung was completely unconscious, tears began to fall. He cried like he had never cried before since they debuted as a group. He felt useless as a leader, as a friend and as a human being. He buried his head in his hands and even when a familiar voice murmured his name, he couldn't control his weeping anymore.

"Hey, don't cry. What's wrong?" Mark asked in a low tone. JB immediately lifted his head and looked at his hyung, but that simple gesture only made him cry harder.

"I'm sorry, man. I'm so fucking sorry!" the leader repeated as he grabbed the elder's hands and held them tightly. Mark had never seen JB like that and such a sight scared him.

"What is it? Did something happen to the others? For Christ sake, tell me what's going on." Mark asked, alarmed. However, JB didn't answer him and kept bawling his eyes out. The American then scooted over in the bed and signaled the inconsolable JB to lay there beside him. The leader resisted at first, but when his hyung made a cute face and patted the little empty space beside him, the Korean just went for it. While Mark caressed his hair, JB rested his head on his hyung's chest, and listened to the roaring beats of his heart. When his crying finally stopped, he was able to talk again.

"I am embarrassing, aren't I?" the leader asked as he tried to wipe every trace of tear that stained his face.

"Not at all. Just a bit overdramatic sometimes. Are you gonna tell me what was that crying all about? I hope it wasn't because of me, I'm not gonna die, you know." The American chuckled as he ruffled his dongsaeng's hair. JB nodded at him, still a bit disheartened.

"Too much stress lately, I guess. By the way, I'm glad you made it. Everyone was worried sick, I believe that we've just realized how important you are in our lives. Please don't tell the others I cried, okay? I must be strong for them." JB asked a bit embarrassed as he lifted his head from the other's chest and stared at him with a humbleness that the elder had never seen before.

"It wouldn't hurt to express your feelings every now and then, after all you're human too. They're our family, they'd understand and support you. You shouldn't feel ashamed or weak because of it." Mark suggested, as he gave him a kind smile. The younger nodded at him again and returned the smile. To hear the American encourage him like that was unexpectedly comforting. Suddenly he remembered why he was in that room and what he planned to achieve.

"What's the last thing you remember?" JB asked tentatively.

"I was in LA with Jackson for a short vacation. I have no idea how I ended up here in a Korean hospital." The American sounded troubled as he shook his head in frustration. The leader sighed in despair, but soon managed to recollect himself. He didn't want to make the elder more conflicted than he seemed to be. He realized that Mark's last memory was a good one. There was no letter2u lurking around the corner at that moment, there was no blackmailing, murder or suicide attempts, no heartbreaks, and on top of that no fights within the group. For a moment, he wished he could also go back in time and take pleasure in the simple joy of being the member of an average Kpop group in Korea. He wondered if he would be able to indulge himself in that kind of semi-anonymity ever again.