Slice of Love Stories

A Paper Rose

A/N  Hey, guys, I just wanted to let you know, this short story is about a member of the LBGTQ+ community. If that is something that makes you uncomfortable, I would recommend that you neglect to read this, rather than leaving any sort of hateful comment. Or, you are welcome to continue on reading and hopefully learn to feel less uncomfortable about it. Thank you for your time! Much love, Lizzie. <3

I was appropriately sad, of course, when Bella's boyfriend broke up with her. Bella is a good friend of mine, and has been my friend for the past seven months. And she, well she was devastated. They had dated for just over six months, and done all of the insufferable boyfriend-girlfriend cutesy stuff in the meantime. She's quite a clingy person, not that I can't relate, but it was hard for her to have him leave her so suddenly and without much of an explanation. Also, he broke up with her right after Valentine's Day. What a shitty move... 

To be fair, he was my friend, too. He had told me and Shelby that he wasn't happy anymore with Bella, before he ever told her. I fully supported his decision. That wasn't the problem. No one should feel obligated to stay in a high-school relationship that makes you feel depressed and trapped. The problem was what came after. 

Rehearsal was a riot. It always is. I think that that was the day that my friend, Danny, picked me up over his shoulder and ran me off of the stage. (No, mom, it's not flirting if he's the gayest boy you've ever met.)  The day had gone pretty great at that point, and I finally had my lines down. I was leaving early to go and get frozen yogurt with one of my best friends, and I was right smack-dab in the middle of a three of the best people in the world (some of my theater troop). 

That's when the problem happened.

I was four steps away from the water fountain when I saw him out of the corner of my eye. Running down the hallway towards us, he was a few steps in front of George (his best friend). It wasn't abnormal behavior. I can't count the times that they've run around the school, the theater, everywhere, being dumb kids. (I call them that lovingly. They're MY dumb kids. We're a family.)

I took another step towards the fountain. 

Roxie stopped half-way through her sentence about a field trip. 

He tripped. Sliding- sliding- on the floor. 

On his knees. stopping in front of me. 

Everyone stopped talking. Everything was quiet; too quiet. 

He looked nervous. I remember being confused. Why is he looking at me like that? Why is everyone so quiet? Why am I frozen, somehow, and unable to take the remaining three steps over to the water fountain for the drink of water that I have been wanting for the past half-an-hour?

"Willyougooutwithme?" he asked, cheeks turning pink. 

My brain blanked and yet seemed to be running at a mile-a-minute. What is going on? Is this a joke? It MUST be a joke. This is Him we're talking about. Of course he can't be serious. 

But all that my mouth said was "W-what?" 

The tiles that his knees had stopped on were yellow and black. My hands were shaking. Not an unusual phenomenon, but still... His hands were behind his back, holding something. George was standing behind him. I could feel Roxie's eyes on the back of my neck.

"Will you go out with me?" he asked, cheeks flushing darker. His eyes were shining, whether with excitement or anxiety or emotion- NOPE! I'm not even gonna go there...

The room seemed to freeze. Or, maybe it was me. There was no one behind me but Danny. But, well, I don't think that He was talking to him. He sounded too nervous. And, he was looking right at my face. This is a joke, right? It has to be a joke.

Somehow, a part of my consciousness caught the sound of someone crying. I turned, and there, twelve steps away, was Bella, in tears, over the fact that He had moved on so quickly. A part of my mind wanted to go and hug her, but the greater portion was more focused on my... predicament. What can I do? What can I say? What does he mean 'go out with him'?  What about Bella? I thought- But, me? Really? Me, of all people? How could that-? Why-? 

I was taking too long. He was holding a flower out to me, and a piece of paper, and somewhere through the haze of my mind i could hear him saying something. "... have to decide now. Just, think about it. I-I wrote a poem, too..."

I took them from his hand, still frozen to my spot, three steps from the water fountain. 

Just say yes!  Voices clamored in my brain, demanding to be heard. He's a nice guy, and you're friends, and he cares about you. Who will you find, again, that actually CARES about you? 

No! Just stay quiet. Take his advice, and think on it. I'm sure that you'll be much more clear-headed in the future.

You have to tell him no. Think about Bella!!!

And, quietest of all:  But you don't like HIM, remember? You've been obsessed with Shelby since December. You won't like him, even if you pretend. 

"Can you up?" He asks, turning to Danny. Danny grasps his hand and does the jerky pull-up thing that seems to be the only way that teenage boys can help each other off of the ground. My hands are still shaking. I can see the dust that has settled on the tile floor of the school hallway, three steps away from the water fountain. 

He's walking away. 

My mouth opens.

I inhale deeply.

"I'm sorry." My mouth says. I don't know where it is getting it's words because all that my brain can think about is trying to not fall over and how much I could really use that drink of water. "I'm sorry, but I can't." 

He's turned around now. I am, too. I can't look at him, so I look at Danny's expensive shoes. 

Everyone's eyes are burning into my skin. 

Waiting. 

"I can't go out with you. I'm gay." 

And, with those words (words that I did NOT give permission to leave my mouth) I spun on my heel, walked the three steps to the water fountain, and took a long drink. 

Hands still shaking. Heart still racing. Mind frozen, but screaming. It feels like I'm full of TV static.

And then I let go of the water fountain button, and I leave. I am not running, but I'm certainly not walking at a leisurely pace. Somewhere, in the back of my brain, I see Bella. Her cheeks are stained with tears and she is being comforted by none other than the girl who occupies Shelby's heart. The world sure is a small place. I want to go to her, give her a hug, tell her that everything is going to be okay, but it's all that I can do to keep my own tears from running down my face. 

The front door to the school slams behind me, and I drop my bags on the sidewalk next to the curb. What have I done? It wasn't supposed to go like this. What do they think? They'll probably hate me. He probably hates me. Bella probably hates me because He asked me out. Everyone's going to know. I'm not ready for that! I can't be ready for that. Things already went so badly last time. The only person who knows, who really knows, is my best friend. AND SHE'S FUCKING SICK WITH THE FLU! How will I come back to school, next week? What will people think?

I can hear the door opening again behind me, and footsteps. Poorly-hidden whispers being exchanged in the empty air. 

And then, Roxie is in front of me. And she's hugging me and my tears are rising to the surface. And Danny and Tess are there, too. And it's okay.

Everything is okay. 

Everything will be okay. 

I may not get the girl, but at least I get a happy ending.