Tough Guy Dies (bad boy Jack Johnson fanfic)

Chapter Eight

Jack's POV

Stop looking at me!  I want to shout, I want to run out of this cafeteria; it's filled with judges, and I feel like I'm on trial. The constant look-backs coming from the rows of tables ahead are becoming too frequent for my liking, belittling me at every glance.

Don't do it.

I can't help but fiddle with my fingers as I change the song from my phone.

No, not now. Please.

Why are they judging me!? Just go away!

You know they won't, you freak.

Stable breaths become short, quick huffs. My legs become weak, my eyes averting everywhere.

I need to get out of here. Now.

Don't draw attention to yourself, you know this!

The numbers on my phone tell me I have fifteen minutes left until lunch ends.

I won't make it.

Fuck.

My body moves seemingly by itself, as I walk out of the cafeteria.

They can all see you now, Jack. Great job.

"Oh my god," I whisper as I turn the corner, and go up the first flight of stairs.

I pace at the top of the stairwell; teachers and students are at the top floor. More eyes. Don't go there.

What did I do wrong? I never did anything to them.

I put my back on the wall, and slide down, the floor stopping me. I put my elbows on my knees, with my head in my hands.

"Fuck," I repeat over to myself. "Fuck me." My body involuntarily starts to shake, but I've gotten used to it.

Warm tears fight to show, but I hold them back. I press my palms to my hands to stop the urge.

"Jack?" A soft voice breaks the thick air. I look up to see Riley stomping her way up the steps, the small sound pounding into my head.

She sits down next to me. I bring my hands away from my face. A silence covers us, until I feel her put her head on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" She asks 

I look down at her, her eyes pouring into mine. I feel myself calm down, my body stop shaking, and my breaths become longer.

"I'm okay." I whisper. Warm liquid strolls down my left cheek. Pathetic. 

"Aw, ba-- J-jack." She poorly covers her slip up. I smirk.

She covers her small hands with her sleeve and the rough cloth brushes against my cheek. I try to push her hand away, but she shushes me instead.

I lightly laugh and she moves her hand away, finally. "There you go," she says and places her head on my shoulder again. I kiss her head and she smiles. God, I love that smile, it's just so contagious.

"Did you finish your lunch?" I ask her.

"Someone else will get it," she replies.

"No, go eat. I'm fine."

"No, I'd rather be here."

I kiss her head, letting my lips linger until I pull away. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her as close as I can. 

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And that was my rendition of an anxiety attack if you didnt catch that.

My friends need to come back to my school, I FEEL SO ALONE