“I know this is not right” I said to myself as I was chasing the pavements of the non-ending hall of the Science Building. Am I doing a mistake? Making myself a fool in everyone’s eyes? Now tell me God if I made a mistake. My dopamine makes me courageous as I face the people with invective faces. And now I can’t back down because I can’t fight these feelings anymore. Even the powerful, forcible, and cogent persons in the world neither can stop me over this war of love.
It all started with a BANG! “Ouch!” she said when I grabbed the door knob and opened the door in our classroom. I didn’t think that she was also trying to open the door, unluckily I got it first. “Oh! I’m so sorry Miss I didn’t mean it” apologizing quickly. She put a smile on her face and suddenly I felt something different. “It’s ok it didn’t hurt too much”, with matching lovely smiles on her face. That moment when your heart skipped a beat and you just suddenly don’t know what’s happening? Oh stupid Dopamine! Her cheeks dimpled ever so slightly, when she smiled. Geez! Did I just think that? She flipped her thin, black hair out of her face and revealed her ever gorgeous brown eyes. I seemed to get lost in them. . Oh god I’m a total freak! Is this what they call Destiny? Tsss. Her big pink lips stretched out into a big smile, and then she noticed me staring at her perfectly made baby face. I looked down, blushing. . . Oh God, what is happening to me!? She started walking over to me; I felt my face burn up. I tried hiding it, but it failed completely.
Everyday, every minute, every second and every hour of the day I was only thinking of her. Her face is like that of an angel, bursting with kindness, and she’s perfect for me. Every time I saw her, her looks gave me butterflies in my stomach. And I just find her amazingly attractive. I always compliment her looks; greet her in a sweet and modest way, helps her every time she needs help, and loving her without her being noticed. Sometimes I was thinking of confronting her about my feelings but I’m not brave enough to do it. Everything she does is beautiful even though it’s just like crazy, and everything she does is right. I just want me and her against the world, both of us will conquer the world. This is how I want it to be and I’ve never been this way before. Sometimes when I’d like to confess my feelings there’s always a pop-up thought that she would reject me and things will turn upside down and she will laugh at me. Honestly, I always said to myself “I love her”. It might be too quick to even say that, but I guess this was sort of “Love at First Sight”. Holy Crap!
I could see my face at the mirror with a puzzled look. Damn! What will I do now? I’ve fallen over her too much! Tsss. After washing my face I talked to my mom. “Mom is being in love a crime?” I questioned her. “Oh honey there’s nothing wrong with being in love, its natural that a person can feel about it and why did you ask about it? Are you in love? Admit it”. Mom was blushing and smiling about it and this moment is very awkward. “Uhmm, yes mom I was in love with this far-reaching person…” I replied with tears in my eyes. She kissed my forehead and says “Don’t worry about it honey you can reach her if you love her so much, you only need patience, persistence and perseverance to reach her and be loved by her”. I suddenly stretched my arms wide and hugged her and kissed her cheeks. Tears flowing like a river in my eyes and says “Thanks for that inspirational advice mom! I love ya♥!”. “You better prepare yourself for school tomorrow honey! Good night! I love you!” she added. “Ok mom I better sleep now”, as I walk upstairs her face runs into my mind and I said to myself “I better get ready for tomorrow, tomorrow is the biggest and memorable day of my life! It will be the highlights of my history.” Confess, confront then be loved or not, I better get ready for the aftermath, consummation, consequences and whatsoever about my decisions and actions. It’s now or never for me. I’ll make sure she’ll be happy with me and even if without me. Because in love “You don’t lose by loving, you always lose by holding back”.
As I was walking towards my classroom at the science building, I’m still confused if I will confront her about my feelings. My knees and hands are shaking; my heart beats faster than the fastest thing in the world as I see the name of the room “Physics Lab”. “I’m ready to face the consequences” inside my thoughts. Suddenly I heard someone said “Good morning!” I stared at her speechlessly. I know she was it and I don’t know what will I do, I was mental blocked as I see her angelic, alluring, and admirable face that only, she has it. As I sat, my eyes sparkled by her glimmering eyes. I attracted much at her eyes with—KRRRRIIIINNNNGGGG! As the bell rings I regained my consciousness a little. It signals the dismissal time for our afternoon session. It’s funny how love can make us stupid it’s like a MAGIC. “Now’s the right and perfect time”, these are some thoughts in my head while I was walking slowly towards her. This is the perfect time because it’s only me and her still remains at the school. “Hi!” as I started our confronting and confession conversation. “Is there something you would like to tell me?” she said with a formal tone. After a minute I saw myself staring at her like I saw a ghost. I just can’t stop staring at her gorgeous face. “Is there something wrong?” she said to break the deafening silence that surrounds us. “Holy crap! What did I just do?” I said to myself. “Ahmm. Uhhnmm. I just want to tell you something” nervously speaking. I saw her lips stretched widely and says “What? Tell me now.”. “The first time we met I stared at you like there’s no end and suddenly it’s MAGIC, something different that my heart beats fast, I saw you’re glimmering eyes with happiness in it, your alluring face and of course your kindness.” I said with no hesitations. “Thanks for the compliments” she said with a smile on her face. “I…I know this feelings is new but this is true.” I said. “It’s the things you do and everything in you that makes me fall in love with you.” I added with happiness in my eyes. “I appreciate everything you said—‘. “Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling frightened you'll slip away.” I said to cut what she would like to say. “These are the words I just want to scream out to you” I added. “Hmmm. I felt the same to you also.” She said with a melancholic face. It’s so good to hear that from her, but why? Why is she sad? “Everything in this world has restrictions and limitations that implies in our situation” she said while she was facing me with her tears flowing. “What do you mean?” I questioned her. “This love of ours will not last and this is prohibited.” She answered me. There were tears forming at my eyes on what she says. I feel rejected; this was the moment I was afraid of. “At the first place we can’t have a relationship because I was your TEACHER” she said frankly. I realized that I forgot that she was my teacher it feels like my heart has been crumpled, crushed, and torn into pieces. Loneliness filled the room as I was crying, then she said "Please don't cry, smile for me, after all I don't want you to be sad that's because I love you." Suddenly the one that she said seconds ago made me braver than ever. “I’ll wait for you MA’AM and I’m not letting you go” I said. She smirked and laughs and hugged me. “Let’s See!” that was the day that I proved nothing is IMPOSSIBLE.
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