We are stronger together

- 31 - Worries

I tossed and turned all night. This summer was brutal. The sun was already shining even though it was still very early.

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, trying not to wake Taron. I was only wearing a top and panties while Taron was in his boxers only. I watched his back rise and fall peacefully as he breathed. I still couldn't quite believe we were a real family.

I moved closer to him and he mumbled something before wrapping one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I fell asleep again in no time, listening to his breathing and talking in his scent.

I woke up to Taron's voice and it took me a second to register he was singing to our girl again. I smiled and listened to his soothing voice which almost sent me right back to sleep.

He quietly came back to bed, unaware I was awake and lay down next to me. I smiled lightly and wrapped my arm around his hip

"You're quite the singer" I mumbled.

I heard him chuckle "If it makes her fall asleep, I'm here for it"

I smiled "Me too. And I'm here to listen to you sing all day and night"

I didn't even open my eyes but I could feel himself leaning in closer to me. Our foreheads touched and I let out a sigh.

I loved this man so much.

We fell asleep again, entangled in each other and life couldn't get more perfect. I was so unbelievably happy with this man by my side and having our daughter, something I never thought I could have.

I woke up again when I heard Lou crying and Taron groaned. He was the one to get up though.

"Let me feed her" I mumbled.

He got our sweet baby girl from her cot and lay her down between us.

"Hey Lou" I smiled "Good morning"

She didn't stop crying though. I tried to feed her but she didn't want to.

"What's wrong?" Taron asked worriedly.

I shrugged "I don't know"

"She hasn't slept well for days" Taron mumbled.

I felt like I hadn't slept in years.

"Maybe she's teething?" I asked.

Taron frowned "Isn't that too early?"

It would be pretty early. She was four months old now.

I checked Lou's mouth and she was drooling a lot and had red inflamed gums.

"Okay she's definitely teething" I sighed.

Here were to more sleepless nights.

We got up and Taron bathed her while I googled teething remedies.

"Okay this says something to bite on, something cold or just distract her"

In fact Lou had stopped crying since Taron was having a bath with her. I watched the two of them in the tub and gulped.

I would never get over seeing Taron like that, his hair still dry, but him being naked in there.

"Something to bite on?" Taron asked "Do we have something she could use?"

"I think I got one a while back, just in case" I walked out of the bathroom and into the living room to rummage through Lou's toys.

Once I found a toy I thought we could use I put it in the freezer to have it cold to soothe her.

"Did you find something?" Taron asked and I glanced up to find him walking into the living room with our daughter.

"Yeah" I sighed "I found a toy and just put it in the freezer"

"Okay good" he said.

The teething toy worked and Lou seemed more satisfied. I was knackered, we wouldn't get much sleep with her teething and she surely would start with separation anxiety soon.

I met Poppy and her baby, Sam, at the mommy and toddler group.

"So good to see you" I hugged Poppy tightly.

"You too" she smiled "Look at Lou, she's growing so much"

I smiled "I know. Sam is the cutest" I smiled at her boy.

He was a bit younger than Lou, because she had arrived a bit early.

I enjoyed these weekly sessions, getting talking to mom's who were going through the same difficulties and getting closer to my baby.

I felt a bit better afterwards, after having learnt some of the other babies were starting to teeth too. Actually, some of them struggled because their babies had high fever so I was relieved Lou was fine.

Lou was taking her nap while Taron was cooking pasta and I was sitting on the counter opposite, pumping milk.

"Hey, can we talk?" he asked.

"Sure" I smiled.

Normally we just talked whatever we thought about, so I felt a bit uneasy.

"You know I took a year off work, right?" he said "I'll have to go back in a few months and I got an offer for a new project"

I gulped "Oh cool. Which project?"

He looked up from the pot of pasta "Kingsman 3"

"Oh Taron" I giggled "That's awesome"

"Yeah" he looked down "But I wanted to talk about how we handle everything or if I should even take on the project –"

I thought about it "I could stay at home one more year before going back"

It wasn't like I loved my job anyway.

"Are you sure?" Taron frowned "I don't want to keep you from your career"

I had to laugh "Career? I hate my job"

Taron looked at me "Or you can go into a different direction career-wise"

I let out a breath "I'll think about it. But you should definitely take on that project"

Taron smiled lightly "You think?"

"Definitely" I unplugged the pump and straightened my bra and clothes "You'll love it"

I hugged him from behind and he exhaled "I just want to be there for my family"

He turned around and pulled me closer to him.

"You can still be there for us" I smiled.

What would it really mean for him and us as a family? Long hours shooting for sure.

"I'll be pretty busy if I take it on" he said.

"We will find a way" I caressed his cheek "Don't worry about it"

He smiled lightly "I love you"

I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and we kept it soft and tender

"And I love you"