Destiny Destroyed

Chapter 10 (1985)

I'm sitting in Ryan's office Monday morning telling him about the mall. "It felt so good to get out Ryan. I felt normal." I'm smiling. Ryan smiles at me. "Maybe your parents would let me take you out," he says. I look oddly at him. "I have a boyfriend you know." He laughs. "I meant as friends Destiny. I know you only see Eric on Saturdays. Maybe your mom would let me drive you home after school. Something to help you feel more like an average person." My eyes light up. "You would do that for me. Why." I watch him closely. His dark eyes soften. "Because you're my friend. I want you to do some normal things. It might help you feel normal. Besides, I like being with you," he says. I smile and say "cool." Inside though I'm hesitant. It seems odd that a twenty eight year old guy would want to spend his free time with me. I can't help but wonder if there is another reason. I just don't know what that would be. Then I decide I don't care. I just want to get out. I need to feel normal and do normal things. "I'll talk to your mom about it," he tells me before standing to walk me to my locker.

I nearly run into Eric's arms when I see him waiting patiently by my locker for me. He looks gorgeous in his Levi's and button-down blue shirt. I wrap my arms around him and pull him to me. I feel relief rush through my body. When I pull away my lips instantly find his. My world is perfect. I am perfect when I'm with Eric. I feel like I've known him my entire life. I feel like he is my other half. I don't tell him though. I don't voice the fears I have of losing him. I don't tell him any of the thoughts I have about losing him. We've only been together a little over a couple months. It would be crazy. He would think I'm crazy.

We walk to class holding hands. No one bothers to even notice us now. It seems Eric tamed the freak in me. I still don't have any friends, but at least no one bothers me anymore. As we walk, I can feel the panic seeping in. We have two days of school left before Christmas break. I won't see Eric every day. It will be hard to fight the darkness without him. I can feel tears forming in my eyes. I fight to keep them under control. Eric kisses me softly before heading off to his class. I notice Ryan standing back some watching. I give him a nod before heading into my class.

At lunch Ryan mentions he talked to my mom. "I got her approval to drive you home every day. Your mom says we can even stop off as long as I have you home by five." He says this with a smile. "What," Eric says. I turn to look at him. He has a confused look on his face. "I didn't have time to tell you. Ryan thinks it's a good idea for me to get out more. He saw how happy I was going to the mall with you. He thinks it can help," I add worried by the look Eric is giving me. "I can ride you home Destiny. I didn't know that was an option," he says. I can tell he's mad. "Your mom also gave me approval for one Sunday a month after Christmas break. That is if you want to do something," Ryan says. What the fuck. What is wrong with him. He can clearly see Eric's upset already. I turn and give him a nasty look.

Eric stands quickly and hurries out if the cafeteria. I quickly follow him. "Eric wait," I call. He stops and turns. Pissed off Eric looks scary. "What the hell was that," he yells pointing to the cafeteria. "I don't know. He mentioned it this morning, but I had no idea he was going to move so fast." I watch Eric run his hand through his hair. "I don't trust him Destiny. He has a thing for you." I grab Eric's hands and pull him to me. "He just wants to help me. He's a friend. He knows how I feel about you. I promise you Eric there is no one for me but you. I didn't want to scare you off by telling you how I really feel. I can't stand being away from you. Every time you leave, I feel so alone. I want to be with you always," I tell him and freeze.

Too much information Destiny I yell to myself in my head. I watch as his anger slowly melts away. His eyes soften. "You really feel that way about me," he asks. I look into his beautiful stormy eyes. "I feel all of that and so much more. I really really really like you Eric," I stress hoping he gets the meaning behind it. "I can't imagine not being with you. There is something about you that makes me better. I feel calm and peaceful with you. You are the only person I feel that with." I tell him. His mouth crashes down on mine. I welcome the feel of his tongue on mine. I jump up wrapping my legs around him. I can feel him hard against me. I want him so bad.

A cough behind us pulls us back to reality. Ryan is standing there watching us. "Can I talk to you Eric," he says. I unwrap my legs from Eric and we part. I'm flushed. Eric is flushed and hurting. "In my office," he says turning to go. "After you pull yourself together." Eric and I spend a couple more minutes together before Eric calms down. He kisses my lips softly and says, "I really really really like you to Destiny." I grin at him. He smiles before turning to walk towards the offices. I'll have to wait till after next period to find out what Ryan says. I walk to my locker thinking about Eric. He's the one. I know it. I smile.

I meet Eric at his locker after class. I don't see Ryan. "Where's Ryan. What happened," I ask him. He smiles at me and takes my hand. "Ryan has decided I can walk you to your classes from now on." I grin at him. "Really." He shakes his head yes. "He also told me I have nothing to worry about when it comes to you and him. He is only trying to help you." I look at Eric and watch him closely. "Do you believe him," I ask. "I believe in you Destiny. If you say you are only friends, then I believe you. I trust you," he says. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me. "I really like you so much Eric," I whisper into his ear. I feel his arms tighten around me.

Christmas break is hard. It's only been two days since I've seen Eric at school and already, I'm having withdrawals. We left for my grandmas Christmas Eve and spent Christmas Day at her house. My aunt Claire and her family flew in this year. It would be nice to see my cousins Tony and Chelsea. Tony turned twenty a few months ago. He had grown up a lot. Gone was the boy I knew and teased all those years ago. Chelsea was now seventeen. Gone was the cute girl I played with. In her place was a snotty bitch. I avoided her. I heard her comments about me when she thought I couldn't hear. "I'm not sleeping with her. She's crazy and could kill me in my sleep."

I toss my bag on the floor next to the twin bed and sit. I flop down on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. I was supposed to be sleeping with Faith and Chelsea in the other room. Now thanks to Chelsea I would be bunking with Tony. "I'm sorry about this," Tony says coming into the room. He tosses his stuff on the bed. "I really don't care," I say and mean it. "So how crazy are you. Should I sleep with one eye open," he asks. I sit up and look at him. He's grinning. He's teasing me. I laugh. "I only hurt myself so you're safe," I tell him. His face turns serious. "I'm sorry Destiny." I look at him. His face has matured. He's a handsome boy. His blond hair is shorter than he usually wore it. "For what," I ask. "For whatever happened to you. You don't deserve any if it." I give him a smile.

It takes a good half hour of convincing before my mom and dad let Tony take me out for a drive. Tony gets a lecture on everything Destiny. They should write a manual to send off with me. Once in the car, Tony looks hesitantly over at me. "Are you sure this is alright," he asks. I grin. "Best Christmas present I could get this year. Time away from prying eyes. I love them all, but I can't even breathe without them watching and worrying about me." He pulls away. We drive through neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights. "So, what's new in your world," he asks. I think about it for a few minutes before answering.

"I'm in love," I say grinning from ear to ear. He looks over at me. "I met the most amazing guy Tony. He doesn't care about my craziness. I've gotten so much better since I met him. There's something about him. It's like I've known him forever. He calms me. I just hope I don't mess it up." Tony turns down another street. "How would you mess it up," he asks pointing to the large house on the hill. There are lights everywhere. It's beautiful. I wish I was with Eric. "I feel like whatever it is I don't remember is going to end us. We won't survive it. I don't think I will survive it," I say in a near whisper.

Tony reaches over and takes my hand. "You are a survivor Destiny. You will be fine regardless of if you remember or not. Maybe it's just better you don't remember." I give him a forced smile. "I stopped therapy because I don't want to remember. That doesn't mean I won't one day." Tony gives my hand a quick squeeze and then let's go. We drive for over an hour looking at Christmas lights. Reluctantly we head back to our grandmas. Tony and I spend Christmas Day hanging out in our room after we opened gifts. Chelsea was uncomfortable around me so we both decided to stay away from her.

The car was packed, and it was time to leave. Tony and his family were staying another couple of days. My mom and dad had to work so that wasn't an option. Besides I was looking forward to seeing Eric. I gave everyone a hug except for Chelsea of course. I gave Tony an extra-long hug and told him thanks. "Take care cuz. Call me if you need to talk." I smiled a thanks and walked to the car. Tony lived out on the west coast so it wasn't like I could just hop over and see him. I appreciated his concern though.