Destiny One Shots

Random Guardian/Vanguard Stuff

I just wanna write funny Guardian and Vanguard things. So, if you like it, tell me and I'll write more.
Words: 654 words
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Titan: Hey Hunter!
Hunter: Wheres my Glimmer?
Titan: Oh yeah the Glimmer, uhh...
Hunter: You better give me my Glimmer.
Titan: Can I give it back to you next week?
Hunter: Where's. My. Glimmer?
Titan: Oh yeah? What are you going to do? You're like 4 feet tall!
Hunter: *Pulls out a Scorch Cannon out of nowhere and points it at the Titan*
Titan: Oh.

*Bleep*

Warlock: Hunter, you can't set all of your problems on fire!
Hunter: WANNA FUCKING BET?!
Warlock: HUNTER NO-!

*Bleep*

Cayde:

Zavala has been making plans all morning. Hes made one face the entire time. If I poke him, I'm a goner.

Cayde, five seconds later: Lets poke him with a stick.

*Bleep*

Cayde: Man! Its really muggy outside today.
Ikora: Cayde, I swear to the Traveler, if I go outside and see that you had your Hunters put all of the mugs in the Courtyard, I will literally kill you.
Cayde: *Slurps from a bowl*

*Bleep*

Master Rahool: When you whisper to the void, does it whisper back?
Void Hunters: Yes.
Arc Hunters: Sometimes.
Solar Hunters: Depends.
Warlocks: What the fuck?

*Bleep*

Titan: Warlock! I have gotten one of the Hunter's guns!
Warlock: You better not sleep tonight.
Titan: What does that mean?
Warlock: You took a Hunter's gun. Behind you.
Titan: *Looks behind them*
Hunter: Hi *With a machine gun*
Titan: FU-!

*Bleep*

Titans or Warlocks: *Calls Hunters short*
Hunters: *Shaking with rage*

Saint: *Calls Hunters short*
Hunters: *Crying with joy*

*Bleep*

Zavala: Cayde's right.
Cayde: *Messing around* What?

*Bleep*

Warlock: You see, the classes are like a family. Us Warlocks are oldest, most responsible and smartest. Titans are middle child, being protective and wanting justice. Hunters are the youngest and they....well they are Hunters.

*Bleep*

Cayde: So if I don't see you out there, I'll kill you myself.
Hunter: Fair.
Warlock: What the..?
Titan: The heck Cayde?
That one Kinder Guardian: WHAT?!

*Bleep*

New civilian: Wow, those guys are drunk.
Ghost: Oh no, Guardians don't get drunk.
Hunter: We're just normally like this.

*Bleep*

Hunter: You should totally ask Saint out on a date.
Osiris: Why would do that?
Warlock: It's super clear you like him.
Osiris: What makes you say that?
Titan: *Points to the Sundial* You built a time machine for him and him only.
Osiris: Is it really that obvious?

*Bleep*

Cayde: People always ask me, Cayde, what's the best perk of your horn and I always say, the fact that I can kill something with it.
Hunters: This is our God for a reason

*Bleep*

Ghost: What are we going to do?
Warlock: Think out a logical plan.
Titan: I agree with Warlock.
Ghost: Wheres Hunter?
Hunter: *Walking back in with gun smoking* Hey guys, the room's cleared.

*Bleep*

Arc Hunter: Hey Warlock! High five!
Warlock: Ok? *High fives Hunter, but gets shocked*
Arc Hunter: *Evil smirk*

*Bleep*

*After Cayde's death*
Titan: Hunter, I am extremely sorry.
Warlock: Yeah.
Titan: Hunter?
Hunter: *Already out of the Tower due to the fear of the Dare*

*Bleep*

Eris: Moon's haunted.
Hunter: *Cocking gun* Not for long.

*Bleep*

Warlock: Hunter, why are you always so violent?
Hunter: As I think of the Hunters before me, I think of the Vanguards Hunters have lost. Four. Titan have Zavala and Saint, you Warlocks have Osiris and Ikora. Those four are alive, but ours are not. So I just started to become reckless, knowing that soon my time will come to join the legendary Hunters before me.
Warlock: *Slowly scooting away*

*Bleep*

Titan: You see, Hunters are not crack addicts, they are crack.

That's all. As a Hunter main, I know that us Hunters are crack addicts and are reckless. Also Guardian Games are coming up so prepare to get crushed Warlocks and Titans!