Destiny Destroyed

Chapter 17 (1981)

I try to enjoy my weekend at my grandma's. We help my grandma make apple pies and dumplings. It's nice spending time with her. Faith is a mess with flour in her hair. I watch her laughing as she tries to flip the dough. Her fingers crashing through the thin layer of dough. "You have to be gentle," grandma tells her. She re-rolls the dough and shows Faith how to do it. This time Faith manages to flip it. It's not as pretty as grandma's but it doesn't have holes through it. She jumps up and down excited. I smile at her. Her life is so simple right now. I know eventually it will become more complicated like mine. I am envious of her right now though.

"How was your weekend," Lucas asks as we paint. I look over at him. It was the first time he tried to make conversation with me. "I went to my grandma's. It was nice to get away." Faith and I had stayed over, and I managed an entire weekend without Seth. Lucas looks at me. "Get away from what," he asks. I give him an odd look. "Sorry. Forget I asked," he says as he turns to continue painting. After several minutes I say "Seth". I'm surprised I spoke the words that were in my head. He stops painting. He turns. He looks pissed. Then he goes back to painting. I don't know why he even bothered to ask if he doesn't care I think to myself as I continue to paint.

Today Seth is waiting for me outside the auditorium. I panic when I see him. Lucas had to wait to clean his brushes after me. He would be coming out any minute. I can only imagine if Seth sees him. I never told Seth that Lucas was painting with me. I know he would make me quit painting. "I need to use the bathroom so bad," I say grabbing him and hurrying off towards the bathroom. Thankfully the closest one is down a different hall. As soon as we turn the corner I relaxed.

Seth waited while I pretended to go to the bathroom. When I come out, he's leaning against the wall. His arms crossed over his chest. His already broad shoulders looked even broader. His dark hair was getting long. I had to admit he looked hot. He turned and smiled at me. My heart did a flip. I smiled back at him. There was still something there. It's those moments that make me wonder how I could even think about breaking up with him. I walk over and plant myself between his legs. I wrap my arms around his neck. His lips come down on mine. The kiss is nice, but it doesn't make my knees weak like it used to. I can feel him hard against me. I don't want him like that.

Seth pulls me closer and rubs his hard on against me. "See what you do to me babe," he whispers in my ear. "I want you so bad. When are you going to be ready," he asks clearly annoyed? "I don't know," I tell him. I pull away and can tell he's disappointed. He takes my hand and rubs it on the bump in his jeans. "This is getting old Destiny. I'm getting tired of taking care of this myself," he tells me. "I'm sorry," I say. He shakes his head and releases me. He takes my hand as we walk to my class without another word.

Thursday Lucas and I are painting in silence. "Why Seth," he asks out of nowhere. "What," I ask confused. "Why was it nice to get away from your boyfriend." I look over at Lucas. I briefly wonder how he knew Seth was my boyfriend. I let out a breath. "I don't know. I get confused." We continue to paint. "Confused about what," he asks without looking at me. "About how I feel about him." Neither of us say anything after that. When it comes time to clean up, I corner Lucas in the sink room. Since the room is small, he can't get past me. I'm not comfortable at the closeness. It's making me nervous for some reason. I'm so close I can smell him. Whatever soap he uses smells so good. I step closer and breathe him in. He gives me an odd look as he looks over at me.

He raises an eyebrow at me. "I need you to do me a favor," I say. My voice is barely audible. I swallow. My heart is pounding out of my chest. I am so embarrassed. Lucas just stands there looking at me. I can't meet his eyes at first. "I need you to wait in here for a couple minutes after I leave," I finally spit out. I watch a confused look pass over his face. I can't help but check him out. His complexion is clear, and his face looks soft. I wonder how it would feel if I touched it. "Why," he asks bringing me back to the conversation I am trying to have. "Seth might be waiting for me outside. He doesn't know I paint with you," I tell him. He sets his clean brushes aside to dry. I watch as he runs a hand through his hair. I like how it's always messy looking. Seth never seems to have a hair out of place.

Lucas steps back a bit and crosses his arms over his chest. I can't help but compare him and Seth. Lucas has a nice physic, but it's a much smaller version than Seth's. I lick my lips as check him out. Another look of confusion comes over Lucas's face. Shit. He just caught me full on checking him out. "What's does it matter if we paint together," he asks. I shake my head. "He wouldn't like it. He's kind of possessive of me. He would make me quit painting if he knew we were in here alone together." He frowns. "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard." I hear a door open and freeze. "Destiny," Seth calls. I shove my brushes at Lucas and run out. I hurry out to find Seth headed my way. "Hey Babe. You're late," he says. "I had some trouble getting one of the brushes clean," I lie. I take his hand and hurry him back the way he came. Once outside the door I breathe a sigh of relief.

Later at lunch I find myself scanning the crowd for Lucas. I spot him sitting with the group of kids we call the burn outs. They are kids that hang out on the hill smoking. They are also the kids that like to get high, drink and do drugs. I frown. I didn't take Lucas for being one of them. I quickly correct myself even in my head. Not one of them. Some of them are nice kids. I think back to when Andy Gates helped me get my locker open last year. I had tried so many times and the bell had rung. I was now late for class. It was a day Seth had been out sick. Andy had been hanging out in the bathroom. Most likely smoking. I kicked my locker in frustration as he walked by. I had been hesitant to give him my combination. He promised to forget it as soon as he got it open. He got it open and that was that.

Lucas is talking to Mark Deperson and Timmy Day. Timmy Day was said to be bad news. Rumor had it he was a supplier of pot. I never had any run ins with Timmy. We traveled in different circles. Mark was a year ahead of us. I had a biology class with him last year and ended up partnered with him for four weeks. Seth had not been happy about it. He tried to say Mark planned it, but the teacher paired us up by last names. We ended up working well together and got an A on our project. Seth had made a comment on several occasions that he thought Mark liked me. 

I watch as Lucas laughs at something Timmy said. I can't help but wonder why Lucas is friends with them. It just didn't seem like his type of crowd. I couldn't help but wonder if that was why Mrs. Beatty mentioned that maybe I could help Lucas make some friends. Meaning better friends. "Who are you watching babe," Seth asks looking to see where I am looking. I try to look away but it's too late. I feel Seth grab my leg under the table and squeeze. I cry out and he stops. Gabby looks over at me and frowns. She shoots Seth a nasty look.

"Which one of those losers got your attention Destiny," he hisses in my ear. "None of them Seth. I was just spacing. I swear." He scowls at me and looks back at the table where Lucas is sitting. He gives my leg another hard squeeze. "You better not be fucking around with me on this Destiny," he hisses in my ear. "I'll fuck everyone at that table up if I have to and I'll be sure to start with Mark. I look over at Seth. He is more than angry. "How could you ever think there would be anyone but you," I whisper and pull him in for a kiss. When I pull away, he sighs and relaxes. "I'm sorry babe. I just get so crazy when it comes to you. It's because I love you so much," he says kissing the top of my head.