Destiny Destroyed

Chapter 23 (1982)

I find out the next day that both Seth and Vince got a week out of school suspension for fighting. I hear many different versions of what went down. The most believable one is the truth from what I learned. Seth approached Vince and asked him if he kissed me Saturday night. Vince told him to fuck off and walked away. Seth tackled Vince from behind and they two went to blows for a few minutes before a couple teachers were able to separate them. I heard Vince has a black eye and split lip. Seth has a cut on his cheek that required stitches. Some of the kids don't seem to really care about the events. Others continue to talk and spread gossip about the fight and of course me.

When I walk into the room to paint, Lucas is sitting on the mat in the corner. I can't bear to look at him. I am so embarrassed and humiliated. I'm certain he thinks I'm a total slut. "Hey," he says. I bite the bullet and look over at him. He smiles at me. He pats the spot next to him on the mat. I don't move. "Come on," he tells me as he pats the spot again. I give in and go over to sit on the mat next to him. "You want to talk about it," he asks. I shake my head no. The tears form and puddle down my face. When Lucas realizes I'm crying he pulls me to him and holds me. I cry in his arms.

"Are you alright," he asks when I finally pull myself together. "I don't know. Things are just so messed up in my head right now." He lays back on the mat and pulls me with him. He's lying on his back and I'm on my side facing towards him. He takes his arms and pulls me to him. I snuggle up against him and rest my head on his chest. I try to drive out the thoughts of what people will think if someone finds us like this. My entire reputation will be ruined. I'll be the school slut that is still a virgin. I almost laugh out loud at this thought. Instead I close my eyes and just feel Lucas. He's warm and smells good. It feels right being in his arms. It feels right being with him. I want to kiss him so bad but know that it will look pretty bad at this point. He will think I am a total slut.

"Vince kissed me at a party Saturday night," I finally say breaking the ten minutes or so of silence. "You don't have to explain it to me Destiny." I think about his words and can't decide what to make of them. Did he not want an explanation because he didn't care if Vince kissed me or I kissed Vince? Maybe he wasn't interested in me as more than just a friend. As if he could read my mind, he slides me off of him and rolls over to look at me. He reaches out and intertwines his hand through mine. "I believe Vince kissed you," he says. "You do," I ask. He smiles at me. "I know you Destiny. I know what kind of person you are. I know you're not the type to go around doing something like that." I can't believe Lucas believes me without a shadow of a doubt. Seth on the other hand. I don't finish the thought.

"I didn't stop him Lucas. When he kissed me, I let him." I hold my breath waiting to see how he responds. When he doesn't say anything, I continue to explain. "It was a test of sorts. I've never kissed anyone other than Seth. I was curious to see how it would feel. I know it was stupid. I didn't plan it or really want it. Once Vince was kissing me, I just went with it." I sounded stupid to myself. I could only imagine what Lucas was thinking. "Did you figure anything out," he asks after a minute of silence. "Not really." He doesn't say anything. "Vince's kiss did nothing for me. I felt nothing. So, I still don't know the answer to what I was looking for."

He thinks for a minute and then says, "What was the question." I look at him confused. "What was it you were looking for Destiny. The reason you didn't stop him." I think about this and say "I wanted butterflies. I wanted something more than what I get with Seth. I'm looking for the answer to one question." He waits and then says, "that being?" I pause for a second. "Am I in love with Seth." He inches closer to me. "Maybe I can help you answer that," he says. His voice sounds nervous and unsure. I swallow and slowly lick my lips. Our heads come together, and his lips touch mine. I can feel his kiss slowly weave its way through my entire body and into my heart. I slide closer to him and deepen the kiss. Before I know it, Lucas is on top of me. My hands meshed in his hair. I feel my body come alive with feelings I have never felt before. My hips arch up into his obvious arousal. I feel more than butterflies.