Destiny Destroyed

Chapter 27 (1982)

FEBRUARY 1982

February rolled around and along with it came Valentine's day. In high school, our school sold flowers that kids could buy and send to each other. It was all anonymous so most of the time no one knew who the flowers were from. It was fun. Unless you didn't get any. Then it just sucked. Usually the girls would plan it out and send them to their friends so they would have a flower. I told Lucas not to send me anything. I was worried what Seth might do if he found out I got a flower. Usually a red rose meant love. A yellow rose meant serious like. The pink carnations were mainly just friendship.

All the money collected went to charity. Local flower shops donated the flowers. Volunteers would pass them out during first period. It was sad to watch the looks on some girls faces when their names weren't called. I knew this would be my first year without a flower. I was fine with it. Seth sent me a rose last year. I told Tara and Gabby no friendship flowers either. The last thing is needed was Seth hearing about it. I wasn't taking any chances. When I heard my name, I froze. I sat staring at the girl, but unable to raise my hand. She called my name again. This time some helpful student pointed me out. I watched as she walked over and handed me one red rose and two yellow roses.

My concentration was gone. I was terrified. Who sent me the flowers? I know it wasn't Lucas. He was as worried as I was about pissing Seth off. Now I have three flowers sitting on my desk. I knew I could throw them out, but I also knew, someone would tell Seth. He had spies everywhere. Desperate I search the classroom. I picked out three girls without flowers and when the bell rang, I quickly handed out my flowers. I would pray it didn't get back to Seth. I guess I didn't pray hard enough.

When Lucas arrives at the art room, I tell him what I got. He swears it wasn't him. He did say one of the yellow roses could have been from Mark. I learned a couple months ago the story of how Lucas became friends with the burn out crowd. He has third period with Timmy Day. He got seated next to him and they ended up having a lot in common and hit it off. They both like to ride dirt bikes. Both like to work on cars. The biggest thing that bonded them was the fact that Timmy lost his dad to cancer also several months before Lucas had lost his. And that is how they became friends. Lucas like the kids he hung out with but swore he didn't smoke, drink or do any type of drugs. He said the guys were cool with his choices and didn't pressure him to do anything he didn't want.

Lucas and I spent most of the period trying to figure out who sent the roses. "Do you think Seth sent the red rose," he asks me. I think about it. "It's possible, but why. He knows I don't want anything to do with him. Why would he waste his money." Lucas thinks for a minute and says, "Maybe just to mess with your head." I have to admit it sure seems like something Seth might do these days. Like my head wasn't messed up enough from him. When the bell rings, Lucas pulls me into a hug. "Be careful the rest of the day." I nod. He brings his lips down on mine. When he pulls away, I sigh. I have my dreamy Lucas smile on. I try to wipe it off before I leave the room.

I'm just about home free. I'm on my way to my last period. As walk past the hall to the stairs near the elevator, I'm grabbed. I'm roughly yanked into the small area. I cry out, but a hand covers my mouth. I try to bite it. "Stop it Destiny," he yells. I go still. He spins me to face him. "What'd you do with the rose I sent you," he asks. I can tell by the look on his face he already knows what I did with it. "Why is Diane Amyer walking around with the rose I sent to you. Why Destiny." I stare at him unsure how to answer. I won't win this one. No correct answer here.

"I'm sorry Seth. I didn't know it was from you." My head hits the wall. "Try again." I blink several times. "I didn't want it," I finally say. "Right answer," he says as he slams my head against the wall again. At some point I feel I will have a permanent bump back there. "And the yellow ones," he hisses in my face. "I have no idea, but I didn't want them either. I have no desire to date anyone in this school Seth. Not you, not Vince and not Mark. I just want to be left alone."

Seth grabs my face. He brings his face to mine and I think he's going to kiss me. Instead he looks me in the eyes and says "That will never happen Destiny. You are and always will be mine. Remember that. You will be back. You and I are meant to be Destiny. You can deny it all you want, but I'm telling you that as long as I live and breathe, you will always be mine. Next year you will be walking around proudly showing off my rose." He stresses the word will. It sounds more like an order.

He brings his lips to mine and this time he does kiss me. I can't move my head since he has it trapped by his hand. I could push him away or knee him but realize it's not a good idea. It's too isolated in this area. He could really hurt me. So instead I close my eyes and let him. He tries to pry my mouth open, but this I am not willing to give him. The bells rings saving me. He pulls back and smiles at me. He grabs my hand and shoves it on the front of his jeans. I can feel him hard. "You still do this to me babe," he says as he rubs my hand harder against him. I can feel the vomit making its way slowly up my throat. I close my eyes trying to will it back down. When I open them he is gone.

I slide down the wall and pull my knees to me. I stay like that for some time. Silent tears stream down my face. When I finally pull myself together, I go to the nurse and tell her I'm not feeling well. She calls my mom and I get to go home. I lay in bed staring at my ceiling. I close my eyes and see Seth grabbing my face. Was he always this person? I don't understand what happened to him. I try to think of the cute boy that was always smiling. How he carried my books and a saved his chocolate chip cookies for me at lunch. I feel guilt. I did this to him. There is no other explanation.

I know I don't want to be with Seth. He will get over me eventually and move on. I couldn't hide my relationship with Lucas forever. I didn't want to hide it. Two girls had asked Lucas to the Valentine's day dance this coming Saturday. He turned them both down. I didn't want Lucas to miss out on things like school dances because of me. I certainly didn't want him going with anyone else though. I wanted to go with Lucas. Instead we both agreed not to go at all. It would kill me if I had to watch him dance with another girl. To pretend we didn't know each other. I couldn't do it, nor could he.