Spoken

Week 3

Sorry for the delay, busy week and alot I wanted to write. Enjoy my dears!

10-27-2012 6:55pm

I'm going up to the mountains now. In a car. For 6 hours. With the whole FAM. And subway. With ghetto ass music on so every time there’s a hard beat I can feel it and it makes me squirm. My back hurts from sleeping in the car and I can't write anything because it’s all bumpy. Aughhhhhhhh. Kanye West is a nasty man. I wouldn't suggest listening to anything of his if you're like 14 or under. You might as well just trade in the V card. Speaking of that, I have this guy you can call a friend I guess that’s just awkwardly perverted. No gusta. Here’s our conversation:

Boston: And plus you're excited I'm texting you

Me: It can’t be more than one page and get over yourself

Boston: I have to get under you first ;)

Me: Wow. I can feel the awkward in the air.

Boston: Haha nah just laugh

Me:Okayhahahahhahahajahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Boston: See all awkward gone

Me: Would you look at that! It disappeared!

Boston: so can we hurry up with that under me thing ;)

Me: The awkward came back!

Boston: No seriously

Me: No

He's a six feet of ginger insanely smart freak. I'm going to nap now. I need all the beauty sleep I can get.

10-28-2012 8:17pm

At this moment, I feel odd. I know who I am, without really knowing who I am...

10:09pm

Fly away bird

Sing a song

But won't you promise me

You won't be gone long?

Fly away bird

Go be free

But won't you say

You won't forget me?

Fly away bird

It is time to go

But know one thing

I love you so.

10-29-2012 4:46 pm

I should write this out before I get normal again. I'm pissed and angry and I want to scream. We had an indoor track meeting today and everything I do, my sister has to do. So when she gets to the meeting, she asks what events she should do. Whatever. She’s tall so I said high jump and hurdles. I told her not to do the event I'm doing and said,"Oh well." Then my best friend was a bitch and was like, “you got her." And when I said she was faster, she was like, “then get faster." All condescending and shit. Then she tried to hug me and I didn't want it. I fucking hate everyone. I'm on my period, can you tell?

10-31-2012 5:52pm

I don't like this. The kid I have a crush is on is my best guy friends friend and he is offering to hook me up with him. I don't like that. I want someone to like me for me. Maybe that’s a lot to ask for but I don't want someone to be convinced to like me...I’ll just be a single pringle now.

10:25pm

For the record, I like more than one guy. Which is normal. This isn't some fairytale shit where a meet one guy, become obsessed, he falls for me, and I marry him. I like Crow, who is making good talking process with me now; Lewis, who plays baseball and was in my class last year and we got 'married', but he’s a sophomore; and Alexander, who I don't know very well but he's cute. Those are the boys who if they asked me out, I would soooo not say no! Haha they cute:)

I went my besties house and it was craziness. The other two girls in our 'clique' (started last highschool soccer season) were jumping everywhere and pantsing each other and beating up my friend. Picture three blonde monkeys screaming. That’s what it was like. It was ridiculous. I sat on my piece of couch the whole time. They are just crazy and disrespectful. Like do that shit in your own house. My second father came in and basically told them to stop. They just don't take anything seriously. I'm done with them.

11-2-2012 4:33pm

Just saw the most perfect thing ever:

Drama, lies, and tears

Welcome to the teenage years

Amazing.

11-3-2012 4:08pm

I'm tired of feeling like I suck and that I should just quit soccer. Honestly, I've just been doing worse and worse and I've wanted to cry and just sob all of the time. That’s not good for my mental health. Then my parents obviously think I suck and I should just give up. My dad asked me what I should do to better myself, and I knew he meant practice on my own but when do I have the time?? He doesn't really how stressed out I really am. I just want to lie down and not wake. That’s a bad thought.

4:11

I am so worthless. God, I’m a loser. No wonder no one loves me. I should go dig a hole. I should end it. I need stop being a crybaby. I'm sad.

11-3-2012 7:05pm

I had an awesome time last night! Me and a couple girls from my team went on this haunted trail and then laser tagging. It was insane and it was so fun! We all kind of claimed partners, so my partner was this girl Alex and she was like unfazed by all of it! She was just too funny! It’s weird, but she would be my girl crush if I rolled that way. Then we were stuck on this bus and this guy with a chain saw came on and it smelled like total gas. I really think it wasn’t safe. Then at the laser tag place, I shot myself like 3 times. It was pathetic. The girls keep making fun of me! RUDE! We lost all our games this weekend but it’s okay, we had a good time. I was happy. Yay.