Why Do You Do This? (YouTuber FF) *under editing*

Last Day of Vid Con

The sun has not yet fully risen but the yellow light of dawn has started to pock over the mountains in the distance. The room in which he stood has been painted a light pink a few months prier and the old wood floors had been carpeted to make it more suitable to a young baby that will start crawling in no time. He had been delighted to hear he was going to get a baby and even more ecstatic to hear that the gender of the baby is a girl. He had gone over board with buying girly things for his new daughter, or that's what his wife had said.

He stood there, looking down at the small girls fragile face, touching her small hands as if for the first time but in reality, it has been the thousandth. He smiles proudly at what he had taken a part in creating and he silently vows to protect her- to keep her.

He stood there, whispering words unsuited for the small child's ears. Bitter-sweet phrases that can only be possessed by one who is angry but happy as well. Words that the young child will hear all her life but she will not listen until it is needed. Until it's to late.

***

I didn't tell anybody what happened the other night with Dan. Not even Tyler. I don't want anybody to know about the mistake I made because it could change things drastically. I know that Phil knows and he's it. Phil had been more clingy however. Almost like a small child would cling onto a mother when he's about to get dropped of at daycare. Like I'm about to drop him and leave. It's silly for him to think that I would just chuck our friendship out the window because of something I did.

Dan has been trying to act normal like myself but sometimes I can catch him looking at me. It may be because I'm more alert around him and he's always done this. Or this is a habit he just picked up. Either way, he needs to stop. It's making me think of "what if" scenarios. What if I kiss him again. What if Eli finds out. What if I brake up with Eli to be with Dan. But I love Eli so that can't happen. Could it?

The last two days of vid con has been a blast. I met so many people like Hazel Hayas, Louise Pentland, Pj Liguori, Chris Kendall, Hank and John Green. And this isn't even scratching the surface of everyone. And I met lodes of fans as well. Even got several little gifts like tee-shirts, hugs, little dolls of myself and Eli. They don't know about Lizzy just yet. My hands are aching and ink stained from all the autographs. But I am very happy from everyone coming to meet me. They are all literally the best.

The after party the other night was really fun too. Everyone- and when I say everyone I mean everyone- was there. It was a mad house with people drinking, dancing, eating, and basically having fun. It was also a rather emotional event because most people are going back home in the morning but Zoe, Alfie, Troye, Tyler, Dan, Phil, Eli, and I are not leaving. We all decided that we are going to go out to eat at this fancy restaurant since this is going to be the last time we see each other in person for a while.

The few panels that I was a part of were incredibly exciting and lots of people were there. My favorite one was the one i had with Tyler. The fans were extra polite and they asked incredibly fascinating questions. One girl even made us each a portrait. Mine looked exactly like myself and Tyler's looked exactly like himself. It was almost like a picture off the internet that had been printed out. But you can see some lines that she has drown in charcoals and it's definitely not ink. She had a big big book in her bag in which Tyler asked what it was and she replied her sketch book. With in seconds, we were flipping through the pages of the books looking at the fans illustrations.

One was of Troye but unlike our black and white ones, this one was in colors. All the colors of the rainbow making up his hair and the top visible part of his clothes. Blended together softly making no line of color distinguishable. His hair and shirt was only purples, blues but the background were reds, yellows, greens, and oranges in a sort of swirling pattern. His face was soft and resting with a small, light smirk just visible. There was another one sketched out of pencil of Phil, scrunching his nose in a silly, fake angry manor. He is wearing a Christmas sweater in this sketch. On the next page is Phil smiling wide eyes with cat whiskers and a flannel shirt.