Sharpen your senses

Take everything from me... I trust you

(Please read it with this song)

When we walk with God, those words are very often pronounced « Take everything from me Lord, I give you everything... I trust you blindly... »

As it is in a worship service, in a time of worship, in a time of complete intimacy with the Holy Spirit, these words can come from our hearts in all sincerity.

However, do we really know the significance of these words? If God took us at our words when we said it, would we make the changes that he was going to make in us or would we regret our words as quickly pronounced?

These questions came to my mind on September 25th, 2019, a common date for all but which changed the very vision I had of these words that are so naturally pronounced towards our heavenly father, but which despite everything is intense and strong, if only we knew that the will of God does not apply according to our will.

It all started before I go back to college, I had no idea of what I wanted to do, like most students in this world you will tell me, but it disturbed me much more than I let it seem. I who nevertheless during my prayers kept saying to God "Not my father's will, but your will". Tell me what to do and I will do it without hesitation. This prayer which I have so often repeated, but receiving no answer for it, was ultimately an "unanswered" prayer. I practically started studying Law after my baccalaureate. I wondered everyday why this choice. However, I had no answer to give except that "I don't know". "The people around me came in turn to ask me why I chose law studies...studies so complicated...which are succeeded by a few people. Others offered me other studies when I replied that I did not know what job to do next. The job I seemed to inspire them was "Nurse". Yet this profession, although beautiful and interesting, did not convince me more than that. So I decided to continue with this vague idea that I had with Law without doubting for a moment that this is where God was waiting for me.

So I started with a first year in Law where all my skills were put to the test. All the abilities I thought I had had become nothing but ashes which evaporated with each breath. This is how, in the first year of Law, I started by saying to God "I decide to decrease myself so that you can grow. This was a sincere sentence, but I hadn't experienced enough difficulty that I could consider it truthful.

Many times, I would go home crying, wondering what I was doing there, if I shouldn't stop everything...Thus constantly decreasing and forgetting these words that I had said before to God, telling him to take control. For me it couldn't be the way God had chosen to do his will. So throughout the year things went from bad to worse, the bad grades were linked and that while I was giving the best of myself. I had thus decided towards the end of the year of everything abandoned, to make no more effort.

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God bless you,
R.D