Poetry of the Damned

It's Only You ♐

  This is something I wrote about my mother, and her Narcitic rage. Big oof. bUt ye, hEre wE Go.

  There was a light in the dark. I asked myself how's this gonna work. Changing and erasing the game I've set up for you. Desecrating all my love given to you. Changing all my life, this wasn't good enough for you. Everything you ever did, it was all just for you.

  Changing, erasing all my feelings about you, along with everyone who has opinions of you. Sitting in your bed all this hate is flowing in. But you have not a care in the world. You feed on our hate every second we're awake. Until our minds start to break.
                    BREAK!!!!

  Now hear the shattering of glass, walking through a hall of ash. Straining and obsessing for all our love to give. But you walk away with that chip on your shoulder. You lie and you cry like you're the one dead inside. Like you have the right, put that shit aside.

  Now get back up and fight. Payback is a sin. Well in that case, I've got to win. Always preaching and obsessing about me of how "God doesn't want this for you.", but why would you say that when he left me with you. Straining to be happy when all I feel is numbness inside. If only I had a dime for every time that I've cried. Did you say I'm a demon, well, that's just you inside.

  Every time I see your face, my lungs fill up with hate. Taking all our happiness, like we're the ones to break. Shattering our light, all the hope we've had for you. But now I'm thinking it's about time something was taken from you. Life disappears as you rely on others, but here we are listening to the fight from beneath the covers.

  Acting helpless and out of control, crying and sobbing, feeling sorry for yourself. Your apologies are a gift, let's put them on a shelf. Drunk rages and Psychotic episodes. You're thriving to break down everything we've built, we look away as our lives start to wilt.

  Dieing and smiling like everything is fine, but we're the ones who always try and try. Praying to God that you'll eventually leave, but he hasn't answered so all I can do is grieve. Taking the bullets, cutting our wrists, all to have it come crashing down on us like boulders.

  We stand here alone, staring at you on your phone. Asking questions for answers, when asking them is suicide. You have a life, children, A HUSBAND, yet you sit on your phone like life without it will end. We writhe at your arrogance, and turn to stone at your glance.

  You enjoy our fear, nothing else for you here. We lye awake, contemplating our fate. I decide whether it's worth it to die, or to continuously try, as I cry in the corner, as pathetic as a fly. I lie to myself saying I'm fine, after looking at myself in the mirror watching me cry.

                   SPLASH!!!

  The sound of tears hitting the sink, dying is the only thing I can think. What would it be like, life without her. Well, it would definitely be happier. Doubting myself and the things that I stand for, wishing that at my hands you'd be reduced to blood and gore.

  Tired of feeling trapped inside my mind, wishing every second that you'd be kind. Treating our lives like a damn game, when we can only think of yours to be the same. I think, there is no better view, than watching you cry after we argue. Knowing that we're right but you can't show it, being exposed makes you feel like shit. Welcome to our world, where you don't get anything but neglect and cold shoulders. Both of which you've so kindly shown us.

  Thank you for being such a bitch, thanks for showing us a new family dinamic. One in which it's ok to throw your children, to neglect their feelings. I just want to say, congratulations, you've earned yourself a one way ticket to a Senior Center in our adult lives.

  Now, I have the pleasure of forever saying goodbye. Have fun in heaven. As long as you don't end up in Hell, that's where I'm going. Wherever you're not. I'll take Hell over you. It's inevitable.

Everything you see, everything you do. It's all your fault, it's only you.

  Have a nice day. ⊂(◉W◉)つ