A Cure for Waking

Life normally goes by in a blur, not everyone knows what they're going to do in their life. Key was one of those people. He was not the brightest, even when he's awake, it feels like he's sleep walking. Life goes by in a flash of giant buildings and blurry faces.

The first time he woke, was to a face, the only face he didn't have trouble remembering. It was smiling. He wasn't sure which year it was, but it didn't matter. The young boy shook his hand and introduced himself. Jonghyun. Key smiled and walked towards the recording room with him, where three other boys were waiting. The memory faded into black after that.

The second time the blur cleared, he was in a meeting room, on his phone. He was sure he was supposed to discuss a recent runway show with several designers but his phone rang. The girl in the phone was crying. That fake smile he had to put on to impress the onlookers dropped to a confused frown, then his eyes widened in pure shock. Key wasn't about to believe it. It was 18th December, 2017.

He was out the door, running towards his car. He stepped on the gas paddle and sped down the road. Everything was a blur, his body changes every gear and turns every corner from pure muscle memory. He stopped in front of a big house, several cars parked at the front. The gate was wide open and two police cars were at the side. He recognized three of the cars, but not the last one. He rushed into the house and was immediately met with a sobbing women and three men trying so hard to be strong.

Key shoved them out of his way, he wanted to see it for himself. Taemin gave his shoulder a small squeeze before letting his hand slip away. Key swallowed and faced the couch, where an old woman was crying over a body, a body with a face he remembers. Jonghyun. Everything faded into black.

The next time Key woke, he was on a bed that feels familiar, but a lot more empty. He was in a black suit. He didn't remember leaving the room, but he was suddenly at a church, next to Taemin, walking down with a group of people carrying a coffin with a picture of a man, smiling. Taemin told him that he fainted on the spot, but he wasn't listening. He was watching how the soulless people place the coffin down gently, and how he remembers seeing that smile on 17th December, 2017. He felt tears come to his eyes and the memory turned black before they drop.

The black suddenly cleared and Key was sobbing into Taemin's chest, crying so hard his throat was burning. He remembered the promises they made. They were going to move in together. They were going to have a world tour and write a new album. They were going to be together with Taemin, Onew and Minho forever. Key pushed himself into the black void and let it consume him.

The view from the dim light of the bathroom was suddenly clear in front of his eyes. Key stared at the two familiar hands in his view. One was holding a razor and the other clenched into a fist. The hand slowly moved closer to the pale neck in his view. It took him a few moments to realize that the hands belonged to him and the neck belonged to him. The razor dug into his skin and sent a burning pain up his spine.

The door clicked and opened and Taemin let a scream escape his lips. The black spots dancing in Key's vision suddenly expanded and closed off all light. Key let his body fall into the dark hole once again, because it was the only way he knew how to cope with the pain and pressure the world decided to put on his shoulders. It was his only cure for waking. 

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Words: 672

By: T. Kimberly Xaffrina (2018)