A one fleeting encounter

I

I can't believe the situation I'm in right now, let alone walking with a guy named Archiel Gonzales. He hasn't really stopped since then, and I don't know how will I keep on punishing him by not officially letting him go. Pero, kung sasabihin ko sakanya na umalis na siya ngayon, diba parang masasaktan ko din siya? Ganon na ba ko ka-horrible as a person? There's really no way I could keep him from hurting further more. But, maybe, I could take things slower...and find an easier way to stop this delusion.

Habang naglalakad kami, I tried to asked him out of genuine curiosity. "Kamusta? Wala na kasi akong contact sa kahit na sino, sorry."

"Okay naman. Walang gano nagbago, bumalik din sa dati lahat. Siguro, si aly nahirapan mag move on. But eventually, I think she did.....moved on. Matagal din kasi kayong naging magkaibigan." He blushed, but he still remained focused on walking by my side; unable to really have an intimate contact. Naintindihan ko, ang awkward kaya nung nangyari kanina. Even I, until now, feel the heaviness that is just hovering above us. Waiting to plump us both.

"Well, pano ba ko makakabawi," I didn't finish my sentence, Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko, pero I must admit, I'm feeling home, right now. And I don't want to ruin this feeling by saying words I might not seriously mean or worse, say things I kept deeply hidden that when it unveil itself, may cause irreparable aftermath. Pero, may ibubuo pa ba, eh sirang sira na. Sinong niloko mo Celise?

"You don't really have to..alam mo yun," tumigil siya at humarap. Hinawakan niya ko sa braso, pero bakit siya pumikit. Anong tumatakbo sa isip mo, arch? "Right now, gusto lang talaga kitang makasama. And it's so stupid of me and so selfish to demand something from you. You don't owe me an answer, anyway."

"But admit it, gago ako," Sabihin mo..kasi totoo. Gago ako at dapat kang magalit. And you're reasonable enough to say that, "gago ka Celise kasi umaalis ka nalang lagi, and this time, wala kang modo at hindi na bumalik ng walang pasabi. Sabihin mo yun ng buong tapang, promise, no hard feelings." Ang interesting ng lupa sa mga panahon na ganito, at yun nga ang ginawa ko. Kahit nakatingin siya saakin, nakapako lang yung mata ko sa lupa. Coward.

"Ayoko, kasi by then, may reason kana para umalis ngayon. Eh, ayoko pa. So, let us both preserve our grudges until I get you home safely. Remember our deal?"

Naglakad na siya pagkatapos, habang tinitignan ko siya papalayo, napansin ko yung pagbabago ng height nya, tumangkad siya. Maybe an inch? nagbago din yung damit niya. Yung buhok niya. Mahaba compared to the average haircut for men, pero sobrang bagay. May sense of fashion na to ah, hinintay lang akong umalis bago manlang nag ayos. Tsk.

"Halika na, hindi ko alam kung saan ka nakatira. Sige ka, magtagagal pa pagtitiis mo sakin. Okay lang naman ako, I don't know if we're on the same page." He sneered.

"Andiyan na, kala mo gwapo kana sa lagay na yan."

"And where did that came from?" I flashed a smile, and look at him.

"You seem a lot manly....now." Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, just trying to intimidate the hell out of him. Let's see if the same boy who keeps on stuttering in front of anyone can present himself differently now. Let's see how much you've grown, arch.

"Well..." he couldn't say the words properly with so much conceit until now. He may be changed in appearance but he remained the same way I remember him to be. He's really not the one who's depending the entire time in pampering. I like that still, him being so simple yet, charismatic enough to be seen.  "I don't see myself that way. Siguro sa buhok, I find it unnecessary to cut it down, I mean for as long as I'm still comfortable. Other than that, parang wala na naman."

"No, you've grown more muscular, more MANLY." I gave much nuanced to the word manly for him to get obsessed by.

"Sige, but narrow it down. Say it, why do I look more manly now?"

"Because you towers over me now. You've grown an Inch and...and," Shit. Why is he mocking me with that intently staring eyes. "you've developed a more matured wardrobe."

I walk faster after saying that. Bahala ka diyan, though he still has an image of someone that is contemplating. He's just plain curious. Nakakainis.

I feel like he's now the one who's checking me out. Ang tagal niya bago makasabay sa paglalakad. But, what he said next surprised me, "Wait, I just realized, it's your birthday."

Nakakita ako ng bukas pa na gotohan. Nagparamadam yung sikmura ko ng maamoy ang bagong lutong sabaw ng lugaw. "Oo nga, kaya bilisan mo na maglakad at kakain tayo."

Nauna na ako maglakad papasok, una kong napansin ang walang gaanong tao sa kainan, inappropriately too spacious for the both of us. Masyadong malamlam; tahimik. Gusto ko nalang tumuloy maglakad, pero nauna na siyang pumasok. "Treat kita, tokneneng at lugaw?" Kuha mo pa rin lahat ng trip ko, pati maliliit na bagay.

"Oo, sige hanap lang ako ng matinong mauupuan." I left him there to order. I saw the two mono block chairs beside the mirror attached to the wall. When I finally managed to sit down, I motion my hands to signal him to where he could see me, kahit Wala naman talagang tao para hindi niya ako kaagad makita.

After ordering, lumapit na siya at umupo. He folded the paper money neatly in his wallet and he then surprised me with another question. Nakakagulat pero at the same time, nakakatakot.

"If I'm not mistaken, the first time we've talked was when you were still this person who hated her entire day just because it's her birthday. Tama?" He said it with so much ease. And it stings, because all I can think about now was when and who I was in that exact time. I tried to open up my mouth to mutter a word, finding the exact tone to maintain the same unfettered person as I am before the moment we slipped inside this place.

But I just blinked, and for once, fought the teardrops that is on the verge of falling. Ang hirap but I triumphed. Gusto ko umalis nalang ulit, pero gusto ko din na pahabain ang oras na nandito pa siya.