Can I Vent (journal)

Depressed?

Ok so, I feel like I get these random waves of sadness. Like, I wanna be alone, but I feel down. Like I'm sad and hurting mentally. I don't know if it's depression to be honest, i probably sound crazy

It's kinda like... my heart hurts. Random events occur in my head/ memories of when I was hurt or betrayed. Only way I can forget them is when I'm sleep or if I'm dead. Ways I try to cope with this is listening to music, watching youtube, and Netflix. Just being alone.

I'm really insecure. Like, I look in the mirror at myself and I just compare myself to other girls. It's mostly about my skin, it isn't that clear.

My friends don't even check up on me. A simple "u ok?" is enough. When I try to talk with them about things that's bothering me, it's like they don't listen or understand. I really hate when people try to ASSUME what's wrong with me. Just let me talk.

I just stay alone and listen to my music. Rod Wave, Kodak, and Youngboy are literally my therapists. They've helped me more than the people around me.

Even when the wave of sadness is gone, I get triggered so easily. Me being a crybaby makes it even worse, plus I'm stubborn. I can say "idc" but deep down inside I do.

Hopefully this "journal" will help me at least...

Bye guys 🦋