Finding Something To Live For

Drip, plip, drip, plip.

Krista stared with pale blue eyes out the window of the damp cottage she and her mother resided in on the outskirts of town. There was a downpour of rain and she could feel the chill even from where she sat by the hearth of her home. She tugged her crimson cloak closer to her body, enveloping in the warmth that she savored in when she knew she would have to face the storm outside in a little while. To grandmother’s house she would go.

She wouldn’t dare plead with her mother for her to go deliver her grandmother’s things another day. She and her mother rarely talked at all except for the one time when she, as a child, had gone up to hug her mother only to be pushed away.

“If only I had the courage to kill her.” Her mother had stated with tears forming at her eyes as she walked off briskly. Those were the first words her mother had ever said to her.

Krista stood up with a sigh and covered her blond head with a hood of red, picking up the wooden basket and headed to the door.

“I’ll be back before supper.” She said as her voice echoed through the nearly empty house. There was no response. Not as if she expected one anyway.

A pang to her heart was all it took for her to march out the door in irritation with rain getting in her eyes. She closed the door behind her and trudged her way into the woods. Her petite frame was easily knocked around by the wind, her crimson cloak flying out behind her like a cape. Oh if only she had worn a couple more pounds’ worth of clothes she would be able to be more grounded. She was surprised that her hood was still covering her head and had not yet flown off as well. At least she had that to be thankful for.

She had been to the woods many times since her childhood and knew it like the back of her hand: every lean pine tree, every crook, every cranny, and every little creek. Like the one she had just fell into. Her teeth chattered as she stood up from the freezing water, drenched from head to toe. Krista yelped as she tried to continue walking only to trip over a rock and head face first into the water again. She sat there in the creek with her fair hair plastered messily on her scalp, all wet and freezing as her legs grew numb.

Oh, what was the point anyway? She thought to herself. Why not just die of hypothermia right here, right now? It’s not as if anyone would miss me anyway.

It was true too. Her mother herself didn’t care if she died. Hell, she even said herself that if she had the courage, she would kill her. Even her grandmother only talked to her when discussing the faring of their family farm although she had shown more kindness to her than her mother did. The red cloak she was wearing was the only gift she’d received from anyone.

She still felt like that dying would be a better option anyway.

Krista breathed in and out slowly, her puff of breath visible in the freezing air, although she was shocked that she could see anything anyway in all this dreadful weather. She stood up and let the wooden basket she held drift atop the water as she took off her cloak. Without it she felt utterly vulnerable and desperately yearned for what little warmth it had provided her. But it was too late; she had tossed it far on the bank of creek somewhere further from where she was. And god, even if she wanted to move, she couldn’t. Her muscles felt utterly weak and she was paralyzed as she stood in the middle of the creek. So she closed her eyes and laid herself on the shallowness of the creek. Ice flooded her veins and her whole body was overtaken by a dull sensation. She felt calm and at peace. Was dying really this easy?

-

Freckles.

Krista blinked.

Was this how the afterworld looked? No it couldn’t be because this was much too painful for such a painless death that she had experienced. She closed her eyes and groaned. Something was wrong, something was very wrong. Things had not gone according to plan.