When I look in the mirror, I do not see myself, I always see someone else. I have multiple personalities and I think that is fine as we all do.
We are always something different to different people, we try to be honest to ourselves and just be but we always alter ourselves to fit in to be liked. That is my problem, I have never tried to be friends with people as I just do not give a fuck. If you like me, you like me and if you do not like me, then get the fuck out of my face and get on with your life. I think I made that nice and simple (LOL)
I have no time to waste on people that are not true to me or even to themselves; I hate fake people and people that do not talk straight. I am honest and I have always been honest as I do not believe in lying but for some reason I seem to find men and women that are just full of Bullshit and they seem to stick to me like a fucking magnet.
Like Kevin Hart said " I used to think you took my breath away, but then I realised I was suffocated by your BS". I laughed so hard as this is so relevant to my life right now. People are full of promises and fake BS and I am tired of it. That is why I am writing this book, I am not sure if I am writing a biography or just writing extracts from my diary by please bear with me. It could turn into a ranting, bitter woman's thoughts and ideas but to be honest I am not a bitter woman as life is really good at the moment. Do not get me wrong, I do like to have a rant when it is needed.
Maybe this will help some people to understand that what you see is not always what you get, you think you know me........step back and take a few hours to look inside my soul for a moment and truly understand who I am.
First and foremost I am a strong woman, who is willing to be there for family and friends no matter what, but if you cross me, then you will see who I really am. I do not play games, games are for children and I am a grown ass woman, so please if you are not ready then close the book until you are.
Welcome to my journey...........
How did I end up the last person on the shelf, the single one, the one without the wedding ring and the beautiful little baby? I was nearly there but somehow I lost it all, not sure if it was the fact that he never really loved me or the fact that I was not the right woman for him. Either way I have failed at something that I always thought I would be successful at, a second chance to have the family I have always wanted but maybe it is not suppose to be.
My friend just got married and already has a beautiful little girl and has such a perfect little family and then my other friend has been married for over two years and they have a baby on the way. Someone please tell me how was I in a 10 year relationship and come out of there with nothing??? Actually wait a minute when I say nothing I mean a husband and a baby. Don’t get it twisted I own my own flat and have my full time job that I get paid very well in my job so for that side of things nothing was altered as I handled my business (with the shaking of the head and a click of the fingers LOL) No seriously, all joking aside I left that relationship with an empty heart as I felt that what I thought we both wanted was not the same even though he said he did.
Now I am 31years old going to be 32 years old in 3 months and I am single, I just want to find that gorgeous man, that makes me laugh, cares for me, treat me like a queen and appreciate and respects me. Then we can complete our union by having a beautiful daughter or son. I really hope my dream will come true and I meet someone soon.
I am actually tired and bored of being single, I love being in a relationship, being single bores me. Yes I do miss that person to cuddle up to in the winter months and sit and just talk to about anything. You never know these next couple of months I may find the man that will make me happy, I hope (fingers crossed)
