Alpha's Choice

Chapter 20 Reverse

Xavier's POV

I was surprised to see Xenobia still exactly where I left here. At least she seemed to know what was good for her. Of course she wasn't going to like any of what I had to say to her. I sat down near her on the bed. She seemed to be staring off into space.

She wasn't focused on anything. Then I saw she had tears running down her face. I tried to pull her into my arms, and she stopped me. "Xavier you cannot fix this."

"I might be able to try if you give me a chance, but if you don't want me to try, I am going to need you dry out those tear beds." I stroked her cheek and looked into her eyes. She let me and met my gaze. I could sense there was something she was trying to get out.

"Can you not make this harder by being sweet?"

"Why Xenobia are you going to reject me again?" She turned her face away, and I saw the tears fall. Shit! Wrong move Xavier.

"Go ahead! I deserve it." I groaned. I was not drunk enough for this. I wasn't sure though that there was a level of drunk that could prepare me for this. "I'm sorry Xavier." She looked so defeated and small, which was a feat for a 6-foot-tall woman. I could feel her struggling for words. I could feel all the jumbled thoughts turning and tossing, like they were lost at sea in a storm. "You didn't deserve any of this, and I have no intention of rejecting you again. Besides I can't. You claimed me."

I debated explaining it all to her again but left it alone for now. She couldn't reject me now I had already accepted her as is, even after the rejection. I could still reject her though. I had only taken that choice from her. She had yet to claim me in return. She could choose to never bite me back, which was as good as rejection to not complete the bond.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken that choice from you. I don't know what came over me. That's not who I am."

"I am glad you did it to be honest. I needed to see things from someone's perspective other than my own, and I just wanted to tell you that I am really sorry Xavier. You didn't deserve any of what I did to you."

I was very taken aback. I had no idea what to say to her after that. I was expecting a fight or battle of wills, not a complete and total submission on her part. "Xenobia... I don't even know what to say right now. Where is all this coming from?"

She finally made eye contact with me I could feel her pain through the bond, but it was also written all over her face. "When you bit me Xavier, I experienced everything as if I was you. I was hit with years-worth of your suffering at my hands, and I am just sick with myself. I know they tell you how powerful the pull of the mating bond is, but it can never prepare you for the real thing." She looked away shyly. "I'm just so ashamed of myself and I know what you saw. I know it made it worse I am not an idiot."

"Why then did you do it?"

"Because my father had me convinced, I was worthy of an Alpha with our bloodline. He talked about everything as if he had my life predestined and none of it involved a half breed outcast with no rank."

"I was the first in line to be Alpha, Xenobia, and I have been Beta for decades."

"I know Xavier, but back then we were just kids. I didn't know rejecting you back then would continue to make our lives miserable for the next 50 years, and I didn't know the skinny kid I rejected would become a man. A man that could tame me."

"I'm still a half breed, that hasn't changed. I'm still the same guy I have always been."

"I know and that's the part that's perfect."

"Oh, now it's perfect that I am a half breed."

"Sort of. You spent years on the outside just like I did, trying to be a part of something bigger. You worked twice as hard to have everything you do, and it shows in who you are. You don't take any of this for granted."