(OLD) "CRUEL" [A Jhin x Fem.reader story] (COMPLETE)

🌹Chapter 5🌹

    You know these days that you are just thinking of how pitiful your life is?
It was one of them for (Y/N).

She never felt bad or guilty for the people she shoots.

no.

they deserved it.

all of them, she did the right thing.

And yet she was sill the criminal in the normal person's eyes.
Not this was a huge problem for her or anything.
No one really knew that she was the one that killed those people.
The locals always blamed it at some "Golden Demon" bullshit,she never knew where "this" originated from. Not that it mattered now, in fact it was helping her in a way.

To (Y/N) it mattered the fact that she failed her parents hopes and dreams...
They never dreamed for their angel to kill.
No, but of course not. They hoped that she would become a famous singer, always praising her and her voice,seeing that she had a talent.
She disappointed them...
And yet she wasn't strong enough to stop herself. This new feeling was too strong for her to fight and she hated it...

  (Y/N) decided to go and take a bath so she could relax and recollect her thoughts.
She went in the bathroom and started getting herself and the water ready. Locking the bathroom door behind her, she got in the tub and slowly relaxing, letting her thoughts loose.

So many times she thought about suicide and yet she couldn't.
Her parents, she swore she would avange them and live for them...

it hurted her so much

She wanted to join them so badly and yet she couldn't...

Tears poured from the poor women's eyes.
When she realized it she wiped them as fast as she could.

"*no point in crying*" - (Y/N) thought to herself.
I mean, it's true.
She couldn't do anything, so she tried to get her mind off of these thoughts.

Her mind went to different topics when suddenly, it stopped at the image of that man.
Jhin, he looked completely normal, just another face in the crowd and yet so different from anyone she has ever seen. No one has ever stared at her like that. She certainly did not like that.
His voice was soft and at the same time it sent chills down her spine. He sounded so polite and so much like a gentleman and yet having that look that made her fear him.
She hasn't felt like this in a long time...

It confused her. A feeling in her gut told her that maybe he is like them...
That he wasn't just a friendly face.

And yet part of her thought that maybe it was just her mind. That maybe she imagined that stare, maybe this trauma has done something with the way she sees strangers. She never had real interaction with this man so  she was wondering if it was a good decision to assume any of those things...

Her gut knew something was off but then again, it could be her imagination. It almost felt like she herself didn't want to find out.
It felt like she didn't want to see everyone as a monster. Like she just wanted to not have to do all of this. She was lost.
What was she supposed to do?
What was she supposed to think?

This man's pressence was one of the biggest mysteries she had ever encountered with. All the other people she killed.
When they want to do something bad they just did it. Most did not hesitate a tiny bit.
But Jhin.... he just didn't do anything. So that's why she was even questioning herself.

Was he just trying to be nice to her?...

It did made her uncomfortable when he stared at her but, maybe it was the first time he had seen heterocromia. Maybe he just didn't know any better or just was surprised to see it in person?
she didn't know.

Getting up, she signs:

"am I overthinking it?" - mumbled to herself.

She didn't bother to pry the truth anymore. Maybe the truth will come out eventually...
And she should probably drop the topic.
It was kind of childish to start wondering about things that you may never have to deal with again. She will probably not even see him again so there was no point.

Even then, (Y/N) was still going to keep an eye on him if she saw him again...

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