was i ever ment to be born

why this feeling

hey its me emma ,and i don't know why this feeling or the thoughts but they alway seem to pop up and well i feel like i never was met to be born and well the hole story behind it is is that i feel like my mother planed out my sister but not me  i just came and my mom can't waist a life and so there i was in the world and ever sins i was born i fell like a failure idk why but ooh wait i know why because my sister gets all of the attention and i get not all i have is emma come fore dinner emma do your home work soo that is that i gess i feel like a dog eat your dinner sit heal you know the drill i gets if you own a dog of some sort the only one how loves me is me you know i feel like every teen has been there and yes same but i have been there moltpule time's over and over again 

so i don't know why i feel like a failure ,but my sister is of corse perfect , as in cleans her clothes gives the dog food socallises and her i am a big mess up how is fat ugly lazy and not wanting to do anything well that in my preens eyes you know that is not how i see my self i see my self succeeding in life having a perfect husband kids a dog my own house i don't see my self as ugly fat and clumsy or messy i see my self as avrige you know but something in me is saying to alway much my self to show that i am still here to my family 

i draw my feelings it seems to always help i don't know what my next chapter is in life but what i do know is to always do something or right color or maybe love yourself because i know that there will always be people out there that won't like you fore you so just know that loving yourself in not arrogant , your sepose to do that i lured it the hard way you should turn it the easy way please promise me that you will do that that is the only this that makes me happy too see other people laugh becaus i am messed up in so meany way's soo †hat is that 

sooo that is that i gess see you in my next one 

xoxo emma .