Things Money Can't Buy

Chapter 19

~*~

Evan was settling in to my apartment pretty well. After he moved in, life got a bit crazy, so it wasn't until the weekend that we finally got the chance to talk. We were sitting together on the couch, watching The Office like we always used to. 

"I'm sorry," Evan said. In response, I glanced up at him, and he sighed deeply before continuing. "You're always the one cleaning up my mess. This is my fault, and I owe you."

"Just stay out of trouble and get your shit together, and that's enough for me." After pausing for a moment, I smiled at him evilly. "Though if you want to clean up around the apartment, that'd be helpful."

When he laughed in response, it was like everything was normal between us again. For the last few years, it felt like my brother had disappeared and was replaced by someone else. It was obviously still him--it was always him, but something else had taken over. For a while, it felt like I didn't even know him anymore. 

Now, I could tell that his head was clear again. It'd be a long road to recovery to reverse the mistakes he made, but I had a feeling that we'd get through it together. 

"Remember that you're an adult now, and there's consequences for the crap you do," I warned. 

"What if I do this?" He smirked while picking up a pillow from the couch and throwing it at me.

The pillow hit my shoulder. "Hey!" I threw it back across the room at him, but this time, it smacked him right in the face. "See? Consequences."

"I know." He set the pillow to the side, his gaze drifting to the TV. His expression was blank, but it held a hint of sadness. "Have you talked to dad at all?"

I snorted. "Not since mom died. Have you?"

My mom died ten years ago. My dad was in prison at the time for armed robbery, so after she died, Evan and I were suddenly completely alone. 

I hated my dad. I resented both him and my mom for ruining the possibility of us having a normal life. As a young girl, I dreamed of having my parents there for me every step of the way: at my high school graduation, my college graduation, my wedding, when I had kids... all that was stripped away from me in the blink of an eye.

Evan hesitated. "Um, I wrote dad a few times. He seems a lot better," he murmured, glancing at me to gauge my reaction. "He misses us, and he regrets what he put us through."

It surprised me that Evan had kept in contact with him. I wanted to roll my eyes at the idea of my dad 'changing his ways', but I couldn't deny the tears that started to roll down my face. "Good, he should regret it. Who cares if he misses us? He lost his daughter when he decided to rob that bank. He should have thought of that then. I don't care if he's changed."

In my heart, I missed my dad. I missed the idea of who my dad could've been if he hadn't made those mistakes. His mistakes didn't just affect him because it ruined our lives as well. Both my mom and dad were at fault: they were neglectful and left us to raise ourselves most of the time. 

"Are you mad that I contacted him?" Evan asked reluctantly.

I threw another pillow at him, which he caught with ease. "You're an idiot, but I'm not mad. It's your choice if you want to talk to him, and it's my choice not to."

Without Evan, I'd be completely alone, and that thought really scared me. 

Memories of me, no older than six years old, making dinner for both of us flashed through my mind. It usually consisted of sandwiches as that was all I knew how to make. My parents were in their bedroom, asleep, at almost all hours of the day. 

Evan was much younger than me at the time, so he obviously didn't remember those times as well as I did. If he had, he'd probably have a very different opinion of our dad.  All he remembered was having a meal every day, but he didn't know who made it and how much that I went through trying to make sure that we were both fed. 

"Maybe consider talking to him," Evan suggested. The way he said it was very tentative, like he was afraid of my reaction.

"Anyway," I said, trying to change the subject. "What do you want for dinner? Something unhealthy because you need to gain some weight back."

He looked excited. "Does Francesco's deliver here? I haven't had their pizza in years."

For Evan, being back in New York City was probably bittersweet. He'd lived in California since he was eight years old, but we had spent the early, tough years of our childhood here in New York. 

My stomach started growling at the mention of Francesco's pizza. "Yes! They still have the cannoli, too."

Evan jokingly started to drool in anticipation of the food, and the drool landed on his hand. 

"Gross!" I handed him the box of tissues. "Good to know you're still disgusting."

Memories of him always being the gross little brother surfaced in my mind. He used to burp in my face and make farting noises with his armpit when he was a kid. While he obviously didn't do that anymore, it was comforting to know that this was still my weirdo little brother.  

I ordered us a large pizza to share, two sodas, and two cannolis. We picked out a movie to watch: Finding Nemo. When we were kids, we'd probably watched that movie a hundred times together because it was one of the few movies we had on DVD. 

As we ate the pizza and cannolis while watching Finding Nemo together, the waves of nostalgia hit me. I didn't realize how much I missed this. In the four years that I'd been away at college, I'd been so alone. I didn't have family nearby--the only family I had was my brother and my Aunt Laura in California. There were friends that I spent time with, but there was nothing like having some quality family time. I went home to visit for the holidays, but it wasn't exactly the same. 

This was some much-needed sibling time. 

~*~

After dinner and the movie, I helped him apply for the nearby community college. He had started taking classes at a community college in California but had to withdraw halfway through the semester because of being sent to prison. Now, it was early November, so we were signing him up for a few classes in the spring semester. He had a caseworker that he was going to meet tomorrow, which was exciting, but I still wanted to help him get a head start on school, work, and therapy. 

"I really liked the programming class that I was taking," he said.

We were scrolling through the course selection and found one that he wanted to try. Evan had always been good with math and computers, so he was going to try taking the computer science route and see how he did. He still had his whole future ahead of him, and I wanted to make sure that I was there to support him.

"Then take another programming class. This time, don't get arrested halfway through the semester," I said, trying to keep a straight face. Our sibling relationship was mostly just making jokes to cope with the fact that our lives were crazy.

He gave me an annoyed look. "I'll try to resist the urge this time to get arrested."

"That's good. Proud of you," I teased. 

"What should I do for work?" he asked. "I've never worked before. Do you think they'll even hire me with a record?"

I shrugged. "It can't hurt to try. I'm sure your caseworker can help with that."

"True." He paused. "I'm glad to be back in New York City. I love Aunt Laura, but it never felt like home there."

"Is that the pizza talking?" I teased.

He laughed and rubbed his stomach, which was now full of pizza. "For sure. Francesco's is my new crack."

"Better that it's Francesco's crack than actual crack."

"A lot cheaper, too."

Knowing everything that my brother had gone through in the last few years was heartbreaking. I hoped that living with me was what he needed, and he'd finally turn over a new leaf.

~*~