My Gay Drama

Homo-Fucking-Phobic

I'd never really cared about those little rude remarks my parents had made towards gay people. At least, I didn't care up until I realized I was gay. One time, when I was around 11 years old, I'd seen this really pretty girl with a cool cap. On that cap was the rainbow, and I didn't know it meant she was gay, but I really liked it. I remember feeling super excited as I bounded up to her as fast as my little legs could take me. She'd looked surprised as I leaped at her for a hug. Ha, imagine some random kid running at you and giving you a huge hug. Funny. Well, I leaped up for a hug and wrapped my arms around her tightly.

"I like your cap!" I'd yelled, being obnoxious to the people around me. My parents had come rushing over, yanking me away from the girl with a scowl on their faces.

"No Cadence, we do not like that cap." My dad said through clenched teeth. I looked from my parents to the girl and back to my parents.

"Yes, I do." I say, grinning up at the cap which I had taken such a liking too.

"No Honey, listen, that cap is for gay people. It means that she is gay." My mother whispered to me, as the girl with the cap giggled lightly.

"What does that mean?" I ask, my stupid younger self being sheltered from things like this. My mother takes in a deep breath as my father folds his arms and looks away.

"It's when girls kiss girls and boys kiss boys." She says softly, but I could hear the disgust in her voice. I looked at the girl, then to my dad, and back to my mother before I looked at all the little boys around me, imagining my lips on theirs. I liked the idea of it. I looked straight back to my mother, a huge grin on my face as I said the words that earned me a slap on the face.

"I want to kiss boys!" I beamed, and I didn't even notice as my mother brought her hand up and struck me across the face, the girl letting out a loud gasp as she ran over to me, shoving my mother out of the way. Tears welled up in my eyes as my hand inched up to my face. My mother had slapped me. I was in shock as the girl with the cap yelled at my mother.

"Do not tell me how to treat my son you Faggot!" My mother had screamed at the girl. The girl had shut up then while my mother's expression became triumphant. The girl turned around to me and gave a small smile, hurt in her eyes. She pulled the cap off her head and handed it to me as I heard my father make a grunt of outrage, and she put it into my tiny 11-year-old hands.

"Do not let them take this off you kid." She whispered, and I had clenched my fist around the cap, nodding at her. She stood back upright and turned to my parents who looked absolutely horrified.

"Try to accept your kid and don't try to change him, or you're going to end up losing him." She said calmly, and then she left. The cap she gave me, no matter how hard my parents tried to get it off me, by coaxing me, bribing me, or even using force, they never did. I still have it. Just today, I saw another little girl with her parents, and the same thing that had happened to me had happened to her. I felt horrible, so I'd come home, to find my parents sitting at the kitchen table, their faces grim. I'd immediately knew something was wrong.

"Sit down Cadence." My father had said, his voice low. I'd glanced at my mother, and found her staring down at the table, not even looking me in the eye. I'd just sat down, not saying a word.

"There's been an offer for a new school. A private school at that. They want you to go there for your writing skills." My father stated. A private school? Why weren't they more excited? Why did they look so... depressed? This should have been amazing for them! Well, apparently it wasn't.

"I'm confused..." I trailed off, my eyes flicking to both of my parents while I began to feel a little bit nervous.

"It is, however, an all-boy school." My mother said to me. I'd then realized why they were so unhappy. It was an all-boys school, and they already knew I was gay. I'd had to do something. So that's why I ended up trapping myself in a lie.

"Uh, well, I got a girlfriend today."