O.N.E

9 0 0
                                    

Hey, have you ever feel that times where you feel like you are not meant to do the things that you are supposed to do? Like you are being controlled by your veins to do stuffs, but your mind couldn't caught up ,and would actually rather not to do it

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Hey, have you ever feel that times where you feel like you are not meant to do the things that you are supposed to do? Like you are being controlled by your veins to do stuffs, but your mind couldn't caught up ,and would actually rather not to do it.

I actually does feel that as always, i feel so energized at the moment and the next moment , i feel so empty and lost. I tried to find those hobbies and likes that i did as always to entertain myself but i don't know where to start.I feel blocked out.

To be frank, I am 15 years old now, and i feel bad for myself for feeling this way.

I want myself to be positive as what people say and does just to gain happiness in life but how?

How did people seem to find that strategy so easy though? Hmmm, i don't think i'm missing out something right?

Am i just broke teenage or is it just because i find nothing that is interesting within me, like even I myself  know that I am that fucked up person and is really boring to talk to and to approach with.

I don't know, I don't want someone to sympathize me just because of my experiences in life that even i couldn't imagine it twice just because it is a fucked up life.

But maybe, I am just really desperate of attention ,affection and love.

I mean yes, I have couple of friends, my parents is there to support me and sometimes not, its normal ,but why does it feel like im desperate for something that i couldn't even have.

Like having someone, who would sacrifice theirselves just for me? Is that what i wanted? To make myself better, and feel like i am that sort of a girl who should be treated as a princess? Damn dude, I couldn't even imagine that how awful i came to be, I should've acted more as a lady, as a woman, because someday that would be my life ,and its pretty necessary for me to start over it now before its too late, before its too late to get things messed up as it was already.

She's Sweet, But A PsychoWhere stories live. Discover now