Letters - Year 1: A Post Potter Fan Fiction

Marian - October 19, 2014

October 19, 2014

Darian Blyth
Slytherin Common Room
Hogwarts

Oh brother of mine, how it pains me to say this… Flying SUCKS! Not muggle flying mind you, but broom flying. I know there are charms to cushion your butt, as sitting on a broom normally would ride up places that are very un-lady like, but I sit here with an icepack on my head and possible brain damage as I write, so don’t mind the spelling, penmanship, or overall context of anything in this letter.

I talked to Mom on the phone, I called her as soon as I heard of your squid adventure. She dropped the phone laughing hysterically. I thought she was going to die! She says she wants the designs so she can make the patents in the US and that it was a wonderful idea and she’s proud. I’m sure dad almost fainted.

Enough about you! Back to my trials and tribulation! I am concussed and dying and you don’t care!

I started my magic classes. I won’t bore  you with the spell stuff because I’m sure we’re taking the same courses. Where you get to have a magical experience with talking pictures and moving castles, I get one hour to go over what you get to study all day! If I have to say there is a polar opposite to Professor. Bob, it would be Professor Grey. He is BORING!

My first day in his class, I sat down next to Julia, (I'll go more into that whole thing later) and with all the hope and admiration of the wonderful magical world I’m about to enter, in walks Professor Terrence Grey.

“Silentus!” he said and flicked his wand. I couldn’t talk! No one could talk! He SILENCED the whole class before we could even say a word! “I expect you all to be silent with eyes forward during lecture time, and during practical exams, keep the chit chat to the topic at hand. Unlike the revered structure and order the Ministry has approved for the various magic schools that turned out thousands of upstanding witches and wizards, you only have one hour to learn a weeks worth of study based on the Ministry’s standards and practice. I will be giving you pages to read, and spells to practice and it will be your responsibility to keep up and progress to another… circle.”

He said the last word like he had a bad taste in his mouth.

“Since this is the first day and part of the lectures will cover Magical History, I shall explain who I am and why I am here.”

“My name is Professor Terrence Grey. I am an education arbiter with the Ministry of Magic. I graduated with top NEWTS from Hogwarts in 1993 and I am from Slytherin house, not that any of you will ever know what it is like to be surrounded by a house of kindred brothers and sisters, and the friendly rivalry of competition that allows young witches and wizards to grow into upstanding citizens... I truly pity your education.”

It’s amazing how well one can pay attention when their mouths are forcibly held shut by magic.

“Our distinguished Headmistress has proceeded to set forth an olive branch to the Ministry and the American Administration to demonstrate this…alternative structure. The Ministry had agreed to an exchange, and so the American wand instructor has moved on to teach at Hogwarts, while I have taken over the difficult task of sculpting you and your young, feeble minds into intelligent members of wizarding society.” Professor Grey’s demeanor dropped from stuffy Brit to an almost sorrowful whining.

“It pains me so that it takes over a month to sort out the first years. Back in Hogwarts, we got that business done by the end of dinner. and the constant shuffling around here...“ Professor Grey sighed, flipped his wand, and flung a stack of textbooks at our heads!

He proceeded to drone on about the lessons while we frantically tried to keep notes. The man took away our PENCILS AND PENS AND GAVE US QUILLS! QUILLS! LIKE FROM A BIRD’s BUTT! Who writes with quill and ink?