This is one of my favorite sections....to make fun of. Some of these books are so wonderful, they should be published. Some, you wish you could take it out of wattpad, throw it in the sink, and turn on the garbage disposal. Here, again, are things i just can't even with this genre.
- When the protagonist is always a troubled girl. Bitch, boys have issues too.
- They literally NEVER are on their period. Are you really uncomfortable about having blood come out of your vagina that you hold it in, or are you using some magic because if that's case, 3.5 billion people will be hunting your ass down for it.
-She "coincidentally" has the same amount of guy friends as girl friends and they all "coincidentally" like each other. A coincidence is like saying your hungry and you turn around to see a restaurant, girl that isn't a coincidence, that's like destiny.
- Her entire fucking closet is made up of oversized sweaters and beanies.
-She is always getting looked at by guys everywhere she goes. Last time I checked, this was Spanish class, not a library.
- She can get the captain of the football team like my friend Catherine can tell you all the starbucks' within a 3 mile radius.
-She always wears glasses. Is there no one who has 20/20 vision or some shit?
- She literally can not stop describing things. You're a teenager, not a animal planet narrator.
-She describes her eyes as hazel one chapter, then blue the next. Chameleon eyes, much?
-She can get any boy she wants, but ask her to stay LOYAL and make the relationship last to save her life, you might as well prepare that guillotine now.
- She gets touched more than a directioner's shrine each day.🙏
-Gets raped, never calls for help. (SHE BE WANTING THE VITAMIN D OR NAH?)
-Eats whatever the fuck she wants, stays 115 pounds. Her metabolism is on point.
-Drinks 3 whole bottles of vodka, drives home without a hitch. Wtf if Mike my roommate drinks a single glass of wine, he drives like a mad man.
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Hey, so I'm gonna try and make this a daily thing, maybe even two a day. So each one may be shorter than usual, but I'm gonna post regularly from now till'....I don't know, when wattpad dies(which will be never). Also if you want to, comment on what you want me to "talk" *cough cough* about next. Peace✌️
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I meant weekdays, gotta have some fun Saturday night, right?
YOU ARE READING
Rant Overload.
HumorRants are my favorite form of therapy (most of this was written in 2015, planning to revamp in 2018)
