Painful Regrets #ExtremeApologies

#ExtremeAplologies

#ExtremeApologies

Dear Diary,

        I thought I had seen it all working as a ER Nurse. I see my fair share of 'crazies' through any given day. And getting home from working the night shift, I couldn't believe my eyes. With a quick gasp and intake of air, I spun around leaving my bedroom as quickly as my legs would take me.

        I thought I heard the small soprano of Beth’s wind chine whisper echo my name, but I didn't bother to turn. Fury was vibrating through me, and the knives sitting on the kitchen counter were looking to tempting. If I didn’t leave the house, I might not be held accountable for my actions. 

        "Clara wait!" a loud shriek echoed behind me. While urgent footsteps padded against wooden floor boards. 

        I turned to face her, but I refused to look her in the eyes. I might just break down, and I wouldn’t give either of them the satisfaction.

Tiny droplets dripped from her hair just near her bare feet. While her body was wrapped in my 300 Thread count, red Egyptian cotton sheets. Holding them tightly around her hands shivered, gripping them tight to her naked form. "It's not what it looks like." She pleaded. 

        I knew what it looked like. I knew what it was. How dare she try to lie to my face? "What do you think happened, Beth? Because what I saw were you naked on my bed, and my boyfriend on top of you." 

        "No, please! You don't understand."

        Taking off my black trimmed glasses and wiped them clean with my shirt, placing them back on I looked at her, this time in the eyes. Fear fully engraved behind the grey hue of her irises. "I'm sorry." She bent her head down to look at her feet twisting one around. 

        I scoffed and made my way to the front door. Taking one last backward glance, I saw the absolute devastation she was feeling because I felt it too. It hurt to think I trusted her that I had even trusted her. A part of me wasn’t shocked that Brandon did this, but Beth? I couldn’t take it.

        Although I had said it for Brandon’s ears, Beth also understood it was meant for her as well. "Get your things and get out! You have two hours, Brandon or I'm calling the cops. I yelled.

        Without another thought I left the place I that was once my safe haven. 

        With the days that followed, Beth wouldn’t take no for an answer, her constant calling and texting became too much, I eventually had to block her number. But that only gave minor relief. 

I had returned home from working another night shift when there was a note on my door. A blue sticky note that read:

I'm sorry

          -B

With it, was a letter charging Brandon with assault; and a request for my presence to meet with Beth and her lawyer to fill out an affidavit.

But that night was a blur. I was just so mad and they were in bed together.

A few minutes had passed and I heard a knock at the door. Reaching it, I could see it was Beth through the stain glass in the door. “Before you shut the door, just listen to me.”

“Please come in.” I gestured for her to follow me to the living room only sitting on the couch after i had motioned for her to.

"I’m sorry Beth?" I said first. I wasn’t sure why but deep down I knew I should be sorry.

“What?” 

“I saw the form. Why didn't you say anything that day?” I asked, genuinely curious.  

“I couldn’t, you were so mad you wouldn’t have believed me.I would never do that to you, I swear.” 

“What happened?”

I came over to take a shower. You know how mine always breaks, and I still had my key. Brandon must have come home and I tried to say no. I swear Clara I said no.” She tried to hold back tears.  

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I should have seen the signs. I was just so angry I assumed the worst.” Taking her in a hug I tired my hardest to stay strong.

“I would have thought the worst too, I think.” I crumbled. We sat arms wrapped around one another trying to console the other.  

---------------

A week later...

"Hey you ready?" 

"Yeah let me just finish.” One last dot and I closed the diary placing it on the bookshelf. 

"You sure about this?” She asked.

“Definitely, he wasn't that good of a boyfriend anyway." I put my arm around my friend leading her to our wide open future. Both prepared to lock away the past.