Ride Or Die (Hell's Tribe MC Series) [Book 5]

Chapter 20: Property of Bucky

Chapter 20 omg! This means we're officially halfway through. I planned on finishing this book months ago, which didn't happen and then I promised myself I would finish in the month of February since I only had chapter 40 and the epilogue and that didn't happen, so here's hoping I finish writing it this month! I have so much for you guys to look forward to with this book and I can't wait for you to read it all. Until then, enjoy the halfway mark!


~Bucky~

No matter how hard I'd been trying to fall asleep, I was wide awake. It was nearly five a.m. now, and I hadn't caught even a wink of sleep. I was tired—my eyes felt heavy and my body exhausted, but my mind wouldn't shut off. I wasn't sure what it was at first because I felt fine, I didn't have any caffeine before bed, and I didn't usually suffer from insomnia. The only thing I could think of that could be the cause of my sleepless night was the stress and anxiety I was feeling about Carter and me. At first, I had been so paranoid that I had convinced myself that I wouldn't let it happen. Then, it was happening before I could stop it, and now I was eating her out on my lunch break.

How the fuck had that happened?

I was so adamant that I would control myself and let her be happy with Rhett, but once I heard they were over, I couldn't let it go anymore.

I had to have her.

But now that I did, I didn't know where to go from here. It was fine to sneak around for now, but how long could we realistically go on like this? With the way we both seemed to be drawn to each other, it was getting harder and harder to pretend like nothing was going on as my feelings for her intensified every single day. All of this and it had only been a couple of weeks. What would happen in a month from now when my feelings for her were even stronger? What would I do if some dude at the shop looked at her for too long or smiled at her the wrong way? I already struggled to keep from strangling them and I'd only slept with Carter once. I knew that in the near future, I would be tempted to brand her forehead with a tattoo that said "Property of Bucky." She did want me to be the one to do her first tattoo anyway.

Was I fucking crazy for thinking it?

Yes.

Was I kidding?

Only partially.

I'd always felt a strong need to protect Carter, even before things between us had grown romantic. Before, it had been more about an obligation to Mick and Cash that I would keep her safe when she was on my watch, but now it was for myself.

I needed Carter to be safe for me.

The wild side of her scared me, and I wasn't scared of much. I'd been through shootouts, fights, prison, kidnappings, disposing of bodies, and none of that had even phased me. Watching Carter let loose absolutely terrified me.

I had never been a controlling guy, especially not with the girlfriends I'd had in the past. I hadn't even been jealous when it came to any of my exes, but with Carter, fuck it drove me crazy. The clothes she wore to either piss me off or get me hard, bothered me in more ways than one. And while I'd never actually tell her what she could or could not wear, not that she'd even listen, I couldn't help but wish she wore turtle necks and full-length pants more often. But no, Carter was all short skirts and sexy dresses even in the dead of Utah winter.

Fuck. Did she have to want a career in fashion? Couldn't she have dreamed of becoming an accountant or some shit?

She had a knack for fashion, that was for sure, but I very much wished that she didn't express her style with such little clothing, cos it really had an effect on me.

Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep?

All I could think about was Carter, and how much I wished she was lying next to me right now. I wondered what it would be like to go to bed with her after hours of rough sex and wake up to her in the morning only to do the same. She'd spent the night only once, but I had been so uncertain and terrified at what her reaction would be that I hadn't even enjoyed it. As I laid here, I couldn't help but wonder if it would be extremely stupid or smart to wake her up and have her come over here right now.