Disorder

6: Falling

~Two months later~

Nothing interesting has gone on these entire two months. Ashkii told me that his whole happy-go-lucky personality of his was just a facade. He was actually like me. He was a depressed person who acted happy to please everyone else.

Also, he hasn't left my side these whole two months. He always sits with me at lunch and at break. He barely talks to his other friends now and honestly, that scares me.

I'm too scared to be in an actual relationship because I don't want to get hurt. But who the hell am I kidding? I've fallen for him harder than I think. I'm just asking for the pain and heartbreak.

If only I could take one hit again. Yes, I'm a recovering addict. Nothing to crazy. But I would always go to these crazy parties where my "friends" were and they would hook me up.

I know that if I get just one more taste, one more inhale, I'll fall back into it. I'll let the smoke cloud around me until I can't see the daylight anymore.

I would never let Ashkii know that part of me. I bet he would leave me if he found out. He knows I self harm and that I've tried to kill myself, multiple times. He knows I've stolen candy and ice cream from grocery stores.

He knows the worst in me. But...I don't know much about him. I only know that he is suffering from mild depression and a few little things too. But, that's really it.

This week was the week before prom. Today is Thursday, prom is on Saturday. Of course, I haven't been asked to go with anyone. And I'm not surprised. I haven't fallen enough to where I'm just waiting or depending on Ashkii to come to my side. Hell, I didn't even expect him to stick around this long.

The bell just rang, indicating the 30 minutes for lunch to start. As girls shoved by, I heard them talking about their dresses and plans and everything. And in that very moment, I just wanted to be normal. Take out my plugs, take back my scars, forget my mistakes. Just...be happy.

Before I got too lost in thought, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see none other than Ashkii standing there, looking cute as ever. I fully faced him to see a wide grin on his face

"Hey." I smiled lightly.

"Hello. It started raining outside just a second ago." He informed me as we walked towards our usual spot, towards outside. I muttered a small 'yes' and Ashkii chuckled.

"Excuse me I need to talk to Ashkii." One of Ashkii's friends said, pulling him away before I could even say anything. I stood by the door to exit the cafeteria and watched the two of them. She glanced over at me slightly, smirking, before she pulled him to where the rest of their friends were.

I sighed and shook my head before walking out the doors. Honestly, I'm not surprised he left me. Everyone leaves eventually.

I walked to the football field and around to the bleachers I always sit at. I walked in front of it but before I climbed up, I stopped.

My breath caught in my throat and I covered my mouth with my hands. I read the word made out of umbrellas over and over again.

Prom?
___________________________
Updated this while in a moving car. The things I do for you people. K please vote and comment, it means a lot.
B y e - J.x