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warning! there are mentions of gore within this. if blood triggers you, please do not read. warning!
"y/n?" the soft call of your name comforted you, though anger was swirling through your body. you couldn't, you refused to get over the words he had said to you mere hours ago. you didn't care that they were said in a fit of his own anger, for the time being, you weren't up for speaking to him. garroth didn't deserve you snapping at him or losing your cool, so you composed yourself.
though, it wasn't hard, considering the fact that butterflies coated the angry feeling in your chest. "g-garroth," it wasn't a question. your voice was barely above a whisper, you tossed another rock in the water. in order to clear the lump that was steadily building, you cleared your throat, whirling around to face the blond. "hi,"
"hi?" he tilted his head, carefully analyzing your every move. he was always observant. "that's all i get?"
you sigh, looking between your feet and the heartthrob in front of you. you didn't want to push him away. if anything, all you wanted to do was lock yourself away in a room with him and have him hold you forever. "look, g-garroth, i'm not up for speaking to anyone. you heard what he said to me, you all did,"
"you're not a monster, y/n, far from it," the words take you by surprise. he didn't- he couldn't actually mean that. it was impossible, it wasn't like anything he had said was a cunning lie he had come up with. it was all the truth, a truth you weren't ready to speak about; not to katelyn, nicole, cadenza, not even aphmau or garroth. those words garroth spoke made your legs tremble and your nails dig into your palm. garroth didn't mean that, you were an uncontrollable monster.
a killer, a ruthless killer.
"we all do things in the heat of the moment, things we come to regret," garroth continued. for once, he didn't step forward to hug you, comfort you, nothing. he just left you to feel what you were feeling, which was more comforting in a sense. his voice did enough, anyway. "it doesn't make you a monster."
you looked down at what laid before you on the lone pathway. blood, blood and more blood. it covered you. you felt sick, twisted, like this was a horror experience of some sort. your breathing became erratic as you focused on the body in front of you, collapsing to your knees as you sobbed.
"the first kill is always the hardest, kiddo, it's okay." the leader of the little camp you were in ruffled your hair. david? was that his name? it didn't matter at the time, all you were worried about was scrubbing your hands clean. as you sobbed over the body, one of your superiors found you and ushered you away before you were found.
you had done their job, done what they asked. you were supposed to be proud and fulfilled, but you felt revolting. a horrid creature you'd see when the clock struck midnight. all you could think about was the fact that, that man had a family. he reported your group to protect them and your group didn't take too kindly to it. you were indifferent, actually, you wanted out. they offered a home, food, water and company. whether you were forced to be there or not didn't matter, you had the basics. all for them, you killed again and again. the only thing on your mind was survival. they wouldn't harm you if you did this. an assassin. you became an assassin. it was sick and twisted and you'd find yourself puking quite often.
