Ordinarily Normal

Chapter Fourteen

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

As I sit in the car I feel this little innocent child leave me. I'm not the me I was. I have to grow up and get a hold of myself. I feel stupid for ever being angry at Izzy. It was silly. I look at the clock and  my face momentarily drops at the time. It is late.

I undo the glove box in the car expecting to see a pair of gloves or an ice scraper. Too be reminded of my parents for another time. Maybe it is better that I do not see  them again. It would be too hurtful. It would mentally break every bone in my body.

Inside the glove box a note reads
'In order to solve the puzzle Dylan, you must look at the bigger picture.'

I immediately begin questioning these notes again. Why do they keep leaving them around? How many more are there?

Then it hits me and shatters through my bulletproof shell. It was fixed. These notes lead up to this day. This was all planned every single last bit. Otherwise how on earth would they know to write these. They knew they were going to maybe die that day. And it hurts to think that. And it hurts to think that is why they gave me a huge goodbye on that lonely Monday morning.

It also gives me a sense of relief, they didn't die in shock or accident or murder. I feel a sense of pain and relief flood through my body and that pool of water speckled with blood that metaphorically formed when they left was been weakened. The load gets lighter. Yet I shake more than ever...

My eyes see little black spots in the corner and my vision begins to fail me. My limbs go numb and I shake uncontrollably. I look in the mirror and my face is as white as a sheet. It looks almost ghost like. It pains me to think what is wrong with me. That I am not strong enough to overcome fear. I blame Gregory and  now I am starting to think that maybe it is me. Just me in here and that I am the weird one not me who has someone close to me who is weird.

 I let the water fall down my cheeks and my forehead become hot. My head spins in a million different directions and my eyes don't  know which way is up or down. My body tilts and smashes against the gear stick and I feel myself lose the control. I lose the control this time. Gregory did not take over. Gregory clearly doesn't exist. In me it is just myself no one else. I must not put the blame on someone else.  It goes black before my eyes and I cannot see for a snapshot of a second.  This pain is controlling me and my breath becomes unsteady and my throat tight.

I just want to be normal. Look at my surname. Smith. How normal is that yet I am on the other end of the spectrum. I feel alien.  Maybe I am.

I see on the clock that I have been laying here resting on the gear stick for 5 minutes and 22 seconds and just before I sit up the car door swings open. I look up, my eyes still being hazy I cannot see who it is but I feel their arms wrap around me. Tight.  I can feel from the shape of the body that it is her. It is Izzy. And in that moment I am grateful for the fact that she is not angry at me. She is seeing and breathing. She is alive.

 I hold her tight back and cry. Like I never have done before. I sob and sob. I have never been this emotional before. What is left of Gregory has never been a crying person.  As Izzy holds onto me tighter the tears fall quicker all hot and sticky and for some bizarre reason I am worried about dampening her coat.

I let go of her and mouth the word 'Sorry'. It is simple and pure. She reads my lips and nods in reply. I cry just a little more at the sight of her.

She is so beautiful, you would never understand.

She closes my door and open the driver's seat takes a seat and we talk. Me still crying but it doesn't obviously waver my voice as I sign my words to her. The thing is with being deaf is that conversations take a lot longer than the average persons. A small talk conversation could take double the amount of time and it can get quite unenthusiastic. This conversation was the opposite it stayed engaged for the whole duration.

'The tree's are beautiful, aren't they?' says Izzy.

'Yes I guess they are.' I reply.

'They sway so beautifully with nothing on their minds.'

'Unlike me.'

'Dyl's I'm sorry, if I could switch places with your parents I would, trust me. I just want you to be happy.'

'Thanks Izzy,  I'm so  sorry,  for everything.'

'Dylan, if you don't  stop saying sorry I will leave!'

I giggle out loud and it is genuine. A smile spreads across her face and up  through her cheekbones elegantly giving light to her worn face. 

I haven't any idea of how long we sit there, talking.  Nothing grand just simple talk. I just know the clouds are low and the night is drawing in.  Izzy begins to say something before there is a knock on our window. I wind it down. It's is another policeman, as the afternoon more and more appear.

'Ah Dylan, jus' wanted to say we found some DNA in one of the gun shot holes. It clearly matches with that of a government terrorist. Would you have any idea?'

'Are you kidding? What do you think I am some terrorist?'

'Dylan, no of course not, if we had any suspicion of you, you would not have been allowed to sit around whilst we search the car, trust me.'

'Okay sir, no sir I don't have any idea.' I think, still confused by the wording. You would think a Policeman of that authority could word his sentences properly, don't you?

'We have found him and he goes by the name Steven Coldurst, we are looking for him now and will clearly take him in for questioning as soon as we can. Dylan I am sorry for your loss, I deeply am.'

'Thank you officer.' and for the first time this afternoon I see a kind side of him, one that maybe cares but it is gone in a flash.

'Now out of the car, you are still not supposed to be in there.'

I shake my head and signal to Izzy that we must get out. We do.

Another policeman steps into view and says ' Dylan we would also like to take you in for a small meeting at court to decide where you will move to. Is that okay?'

'Yes, I guess.' I reply.

'Thank you Dylan, I am glad for your cooperation in this situation, however difficult it is.' he says as he shakes my hand. 'Police officer Digby.' he ends the conversation turns round and walks off into the distance.

The place where we are is an open area surrounded by fields and cows you can see why that would be a place for an attack. It is deserted.