"Pagkatapos kong mag-aral, babawiin ko ang restaurant na hindi na natubos ni papa bago siya bawian ng buhay." I looked at the dreamy boy with a hopeful and determined eyes, as he said those words and watching at the restaurant he is referring to from afar.
Desmond is really determined huh? His dreams are tantamount to skyscrapers knowing our situation.
"Really, Desmond? Really?" I answered in disbelief. He just laughed and shrugged still his eyes are glued at the sight of the restaurant.
"Ikaw ba? Anong pangarap mo?" He asked. Finally giving an eye to me. Now, it's my turn to look away. Pangarap? Psh.
"Aside from sleeping and not waking up, I have nothing. Haha." He remains silent. Not giving a word to my suicidal statement. Now, I can sense his stares as if reading my mind and investigating my whole existence.
I heard him let out a small laugh. "You're unbelievable, Summer. Then why are you still breathing huh?" He said in disbelief.
"I don't know. I am tired. I don't know what to say. I don't even know what my parents look like. I don't even know why I'm still here. I don't know. I am clueless and too exhausted to know everything. I just live. I just exist. I just keep on breathing but too exhausted. I don't want my Grandma to cry because I stopped breathing." He stared at me intently, as if memorizing every detail of my face.
"Know I know," He said to himself while nodding, agreeing to his thought.
"Know I know why you don't have a dream. You did not find yet your purpose or should I say, you did not choose to see your purpose." He smiled at me genuinely as he continue with his speech.
"Hey, Summer! You should be that ball of sunshine because it suits to you, and your name. Kung wala kang pangarap, then let me give you a dream, since I have a lot of it so why not share? Sharing is caring, ika-nga nila." He hold my hands and looked up in the sky, "Just look at the sky, find the best out of the worst and choose to be happy. I'll help you achieve that dream and that's a promise. Let God do the rest."
As the time passes by, Desmond really fulfilled his promise. He helped me. Eventually I became that ball of sunshine he's talking. We graduated, him being an Engineer and me as a Doctor. Nabawi rin niya ang restaurant ng papa niya na pinapatakbo ni tita. While tita meets another great man that is now taking care of them. Now, we're planning to get married.
...
Cold bitter tears are now falling from my eyes reminiscing those good old days. Now, a picture of him is all I have inside this big box.
I can no longer see his genuine smile, his voice and his laughs that became my medicine. He's now gone, and it is all my fault. He passed away last week and he doesn't even have a good burial.
He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve me because all I gave to him was pain and problems. I have lost the only person who teach me how to live and believe my whole being.
If only I've notice the changes happening in myself, if only I choose not to see him because it is too risky. If only I became more cautious, then maybe he's still alive now and kicking.
But now it's too late, he's already gone.
My phone rings and there's was a message request from Delilah, Desmond's sister. Binuksan ko kaagad ang mensahe niya. Now we're having a video call but to my surprise,hindi ang mukha ni Delilah ang bumungad sa screen kundi ang cute na tulo-laway na kapatid ni Desmond.
Now, I cannot stop myself from crying seeing this little kid. He looks like Desmond. And now he's throwing me confused look.
"Ate Summwer, bayit po kayo iyak? Away Ikaw ate Summwer?" I tried to stop my crying but end up on sobbing. I force a smile to the kid, "Hindi away ate summer. Ingat ka palagi Dillan, Alagaan mo sila tita at ate Delilah mo." After saying that I ended the call. My breathing began to get heavy. Something inside my neck is chocking me. With blurry vision I looked up the ceiling, now I need to survive this virus.
Lord please heal me for you are the greatest Doctor. I have a battle to fight and you are the source of my strength and knowledge.
I want to see my Grandma.
Note: hey guys! I hope you enjoyed reading. This story is inspired to our current situation where we face this deadly virus. This is my tribute to our frontliners who bravely face this crisis.
Despite this crisis we experienced, there are still hope just hold on to the promises of our Almighty God, the greatest healer and our Savior.
To God be the Glory!
