Things I Write When I'm Bored

Darkness

Darkness. A scary thing yet a comfort zone. Many says that its a scary thing but they are yet to see how marvelous it can be.

Well, I don't blame them for being afraid, for I was once afraid. Afraid that it would hurt me. Afraid that it would take me somewhere, somewhere far where no one can find me.

I used to think that wherever I go, it will surely follow, like a predator stalking its prey. I used to think that wherever it is trouble will surely follow, and that made me avoid going through dark places or anywhere dark in general. I was so afraid that I began to cower in fear just by thinking about it.

As I grew up, I realized, I was only afraid of the dark because I don't fully understand if it could hurt me in any ways.

"Humans are afraid of things they don't understand." I once heard that quote somewhere. So one day I said, "You know what, screw it. I'll just face my fear."

And so that night, when I usually leave the lights open, I gathered up the courage I have and closed the lights.

At first I felt uneasy. Beads of sweat started to appear on my forehead. I was frantically looking around, trying to sense any signs of danger.

I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to. I couldn't even close my eyes even if I wanted to. Fearing that once I open them, I'll find myself in an unknown place isolated from everyone else.

The silence was deafening. I didn't dare to make any noise afraid that I would set off something and regret my past decisions. It continued on like that for a few more hours. Then eventually, slowly, I felt comfortable.

It was then that I realized, it was all in my mind. The darkness can't hurt me. In fact, it made me feel safe, protected. Protected from what you ask. I don't know. I know it may sound strange but it is what I felt.

It feels like it never intended to hurt me. Starting from that night, whenever I need some quiet place to think or write, I'll get myself a flashlight, a notebook, and a pen, then lock myself in the dark.

It became my safe haven. Somewhere that I feel protected, free. It became a friend to me.

The fear that was once present is now long gone, and now replaced by understanding.