"She loved you." Her voice quivers and she stops speaking. She fakes a cough, a failed attempt to compose herself
"I know" He replied with a heavy heart "You have to understand that no matter what I did, I loved her too. I didn't lie-"
"Yes you did." Her voice is now strong. As if somebody had flipped her switch. He saw the way her eyes flickered, he knew he had hit a nerve
"You're mad at me?" He asks
"I am disappointed." And it was true, no matter what he did she could never get angry with him for long because he used to be his friend too. Before he broke her best friend's heart.
"I let her go because I didn't deserve her"
"You let her go because you were a coward!" She was furious now, her breathing had become ragged as if she was trying to stop herself from saying more.
When she had calmed down, she asked him again
"You loved her, you say?"
He nodded, "I swear to God, I did. In my own way, I still do"
"Then why?"
"What do you mean, why?" He had now turned to face her and he saw her face painted with pain and hesitation.
"Why did you leave her?"
He stilled. It took him a moment to compose his thoughts, a full minute before he could answer.
"Because" He stopped, it looked like he was stalling, still grasping for the right words, the right answer..
"I-I don't know. Maybe you were right about me being a coward. I loved her, that bit is true, but the way she loved me was different. When she looks at me, I see the hope in her eyes. When she tells me her dreams, I am always a part of it. I got scared. And I hurt her, you know? I used to ignore all her texts and say I'm busy but I had enough time to talk to other girls and send then voice messages.." he gave her a melancholic laugh
"I made her feel like shit. I made her feel worthless. And I hate myself for it, believe me, I do. Sometimes I still remember the day I left her, I saw how much pain she was feeling when I looked at her face, the cracks of her heart were visible in her eyes and it hurt me too. It hurt me too because I knew she didn't deserve that, she deserved so much more..than me.
So I left. Even when she came back and forgave me, I turned her away. But it's not because I was heartless, it was because I knew that her heart wasn't safe with me. She deserves someone better. Someone who would stand with her as she fights her demons, someone who knows what to say when she has a bad day, someone who doesn't break their promises. That someone wasn't me, it never was.
I had to leave her to save her"
He stops talking and realized that he was panting as he tried to catch his breath. Every since he left her 6 months ago, he had kept his feelings inside. Bottled up and hidden away in the farthest part of his mind.
A notification sound pierces through the silence and he watches as she checks her phone
"I have to go" she says and quietly fixes her things. She puts down some money to pay for her half drunk coffee and untouched cake.
"Tell her I'm sorry." It sounded like a whisper, like he was almost ashamed to say it "Tell her I'm sorry for breaking her"
She puts down some money for her half drunk coffee and untouched cake
"I will" she answers "But for the record, all you did was hurt her. You didn't break her. You don't have that kind of power."
She spared no effort to glance his way and left.
I hope one day you wake up and realize how stupid you are to let go of her, how arrogant to think you broke her when in fact, all you did was open her eyes to the truth.
You were right. You didn't deserve her. She's a queen, and she will not give away the keys to her kingdoms to boys like you, boys who bring nothing but empty promises and painful goodbyes.
She is a Queen and she doesn't need a King to rule.
