It has been years now since anxiety and I fell in love;
I have since known a few things about her,
She doesn’t like it when people talk about love.
She hides during the day and doesn’t want people to know I am with her.
I walk around with bags under my eyes,
The nights are long and I hate the dark skies.
With all these scars on my wrists,
I fail to understand why can’t she just slice my throat instead and let me die.
I am tired of clinching my fists,
I am tired of going through so much pain I can’t lie.
I ask myself ‘how can life be so cruel?’
‘Is there an ending to these terrors or are they continual?’
She gives me kisses of sorrow,
And don’t you think I love those, oh no!
Her whispers hurt my ears,
The feel like my soul is being fed to the bears.
Her touches sting,
Her voice sounds like a having demon sing.
I have no means of escaping.
So I pretend to be fine in daylight so she don’t torture me worse,
I know her like the pastor know his favorite Bible verse
The night is terror for me there’s no denying.
It’s just another night of reality,
It’s just another night of me and anxiety.
[Nokuthula]
Another night with my second skin
Anxiety, oh beautiful anxiety
She often whispers in my ears when I'm in public and asks of I'm ready to suffer
She asks if I'm ready for her wrath
And without warning she starts
Smile? She never let's me wear a genuine one
She reminds me of all my insecurities with every chance she gets.
Sleepless nights with her are countless
She's like my second skin
She controls my emotions and definitely my moods
I don't know how she came to exist in my life but she's here.
She's always here.
I don't know how many times she's been the cause of my bleeding wrists
I don't know how many times she's stopped me from doing great...
I don't know many times she's prevented me from laughing, singing and dancing.
Sometimes she makes me cry
And sometimes,
I run out tears.
Sometimes she let's me go, but not for long
As soon as I think she's gone, she reappears.
'missed me? I missed you'
She's like an addiction...
An addiction that's not easy to let go off
When she's gone, I feel her breeze. I know she's there.
Sometimes I miss her, and sometimes I wish I didn't.
Anxiety my love, please don't come back this time around.
Please.
Copyrights: All rights Reserved.
©2020 Marcus Maboya
©2020 Nokuthula Mkhonza
©2020 Ordained Ink's Haven
©2020 New Age Enlightenment
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Another Night With Anxiety
PoetryA poem describing the experiences of battling anxiety which mostly strikes at night. All the dark faces of it.
