Tested and Approved

            Marionette leaned against a pillar, catching her breath. Arctic air blasted past her and a maniacal cackle echoed across the frozen landscape. AirConvict, an air conditioning repairman who had visited her flat to fix a unit that kept freezing over, had finally snapped from overwork. She and Chat Noir now faced the akumatized villain, clad only in a tasteful thong fashioned from strips of air filters.

The repair man's rather scrumptious booty had grazed past her face more the once while she dodged his attacks. However bewitching, her mind had drifted to another's—specifically, Adrien's. And it was in that moment that she happened to lay her gaze upon none other than Chat's succulent tush.

How could she have been so blind? Two cheeks, one directly next to the other, wrapped in black spandex that practically burst at the seams. Perfectly symmetrical, except for the slight dimple above the left cheek--an occupational hazard of constant photoshoots involving posing while leaning to the right. Embossed by the paper-thin suit, the clues sprang forth. It was all so clear.

It could be no other ass.

Chat Noir...was Adrien.

Lucky Charm's activation snapped her out of her lustful trance. She felt an object appear in her hand, realizing just by feel what it was. Her miraculous knew what she truly needed.

New strength surging into her body, she tucked the item into her belt and turned just in time to see Chat Noir deliver the finishing blow. The ice began the melt as a small purple butterfly flew from the body of what was AirConvict, now lying flat on his back, fully nude. With no other butt to distract her, she set her course directly for Chat who was just finishing up by catching the akuma.

"What the fucking hell, you goddamn bug, I had to finish the whole fight without you," He put his hands on his hips, "His balls were hanging out by the end you know, and I'm pretty sure he had three, or maybe one MONSTER--"

"Just come with me." She grabbed the bell at his throat. He followed immediately, seeming to sense the air around her. He grinned cheekily.

"You've finally fallen for my charms?" He chuckled. Marionette was doing everything she could not to let her instinct take over then and there. Just thinking about those two bouncy balloons at the base of his torso, just waiting to be set free...

Lucky charm sent another shiver down her spine. Fortune was really on her side today. She turned right, under a slowly melting slope of ice and into a secluded, abandoned building. On the ground, a ladybug print mattress.

"Oh hell yeah!" Chat exclaimed, "Just give me a minute, my dick is the size of a peanut from the cold."

"Who cares about your lil' Adrien?"

Chat gasped, "You know my dick's name? Which means you know my name?"

"Yes," Marionette grabbed his shoulders, pushing him towards the bed, "But all I care about is Winston and Hubert."

Chat gasped again, grabbing his butt cheeks, "Oh my god, you know what I call my booty too?"

"I do and, if you'll let me," She reached down to her belt, pulling out destiny's sweet, sweet gift. Almost shyly, she presented it to her feline companion. Red with black dots: a strap, equipped with a deadly-looking weapon, "I'd like to introduce them to Shirley."

A moment of silence passed with Chat staring at her with an unreadable expression. She could feel her heart beating, her hormones rushing through her body. Then, like a beam of light from the heavens, Adrien smiled.

"If it's Ladybug, I would do anything," He knelt on the mattress, bending over with his prized buns raised. Marionette felt the sweet thrill of his consent race through her veins.

"You're the biggest simp I know," She breathed, buckling herself into Shirley, "And I thank god for that."

With trembling hands, she reached out. As soon as her fingers made contact, she lost herself. She wrestled his belt off, pulling away the spandex to reveal what her soul had yearned for so long--the smooth, milky half-spheres of her long-time crush.

"Zoowee MAMA!" She roared, "There's no stopping me now!"

She pressed both her palms into each cheek. Just as she had imagined, the flesh sank in, leaving an impression of her hands after she removed them.

"Like memory foam..." She whispered, almost choking up. Adrien glanced back, his eyes sparkling.

"I've always been self-conscious of my smart foam technology ass, but you like it?"

"Like it? This is the ass I live for," She held back tears, putting on a brave face, "I'm going in now."

Some say his shrieks of bliss could be heard across the city that day, but the incident was declared a prank by local miscreants hijacking broadcasting equipment. Ladybug and Chat Noir continued to fight Hawkmoth, Adrien none the wiser of who his masked ravisher really was. An interesting rumor did circulate, however, that the famed model now had a tattoo. Tucked beneath his waste band, in simple black line art, a square, resembling the tag sewn onto a mattress. Written within it?

Ladybug's 100% Premium Memory Foam. Tested and Approved.